Tetelestai Recovery

Overcoming Inner Strife: God’s Possibilities

Greed, lust, strife, envy, deception, and fear were familiar to us. Generosity, honesty, loyalty, wisdom, honor, and humility existed outside of our comfort zone. These traits seemed unattainable for those of us who seemed so deeply damaged.

We sometimes felt it was impossible to be comfortable in such unfamiliar territory.


Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)


Within these words of Jesus, we found our stability. We stopped beating ourselves up for failing to accomplish what no human could. We realized our New Normal was a gift from God. We could not force it or coerce it. We would not need to use our old manipulation techniques to con Him into giving us a new life.


Tetelestai Recovery

Embracing Change: Letting Go of the Old Ways

Thankfully, our old ways became so frustrating and futile, we finally let them go. We felt like gymnasts on the uneven parallel bars. Releasing our grip on what had previously stabilized us, sent us reeling wildly in mid-air, hoping to catch hold of the new life when it came within reach. We grabbed at anything and everything that might be it.


Tetelestai Recovery

Finding New Life After Addiction

Neon-colored energy streams flowing through a dark, rain-soaked city street with glowing billboards and skyscrapers.

As we called an end to our addiction, using Christ’s words, “It is finished,” our recovery took root and began to grow into a new life filled with promise. We began to detect subtle changes in our thoughts and behaviors, but they often fluctuated so rapidly, we sometimes wondered if they were real or imagined. We understood that the development of our new life would take time, but the changes we had hoped would happen quickly seemed to be taking forever. Many of our old habits, which we desperately wished would vanish, continued to linger. And some of the expectations we set for ourselves just weren’t happening.

However, we also noticed that some of our undesirable behaviors that we previously accepted as normal (or just being human) had disappeared without any effort on our part. In fact, there were some attitudes and mindsets which were so deeply ingrained in our personalities; we didn’t even think they could be removed. Yet, they disappeared without a trace, and we knew it was a God thing.


Tetelestai Recovery

From Addiction to Redemption: My Journey

I suffered from anxiety all  my life and didn’t know what to call it. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, which only made the problem worse. I ended up hitting bottom in the worst way and was facing prison. Thankfully, I didn’t run. I did my time and that is where I met Jesus. I continued progress after my release and recently celebrated 17 years clean and sober.

Since leaving prison, God has placed people in my path who would help me in my journey. One was a doctor who understood addiction and provided me with safe, legal, non-addictive medication that relieved my anxiety. Later, God brought a man into my life who was also in recovery. He had found Jesus and sobriety while incarcerated several years earlier and was currently hosting AA and NA meetings in our local jail. We eventually married and now enjoy a life that is better than we ever imagined possible. We owe all credit to Jesus who gathered up our shattered lives and restored us to sanity.

Through our journey and subsequent prison ministry, we wrote the book, Tetelestai Recovery: It is Finished, which details our journey into the freedom and recovery found in the final words of Jesus, “It is finished!”


Tetelestai Recovery

Break Free from Dark Thought Cycles

The trajectory of our future is altered by our thoughts when we base them on the perceived realities that swirl around in our brains unchecked. We may hate our pessimism and suspicion, but we can’t break out of the cycle. We may despise our long dreary days of dark thought spirals, but we can’t seem to stop them once they start.

We think about what people were saying about us behind our backs. We wonder if they really wish we weren’t around. We suspect we are going to be fired, dumped, rejected, or abandoned. We replay old conversations, trying to read between the lines so we can better prepare for a number of worst-case scenarios that are likely to befall us.


It has been said that a coward dies a thousand times, a brave man, only once.

***********************

Our thoughts create the reality we live in, whether they align with the truth or not.


To level up, we must develop healthy thought patterns and discipline our minds to stay on a positive track. We can no longer allow our thoughts to wander aimlessly through the minefield of our worst imaginations. We must carve new pathways for our thoughts to travel. We need to keep our thoughts on the high road and pump the brakes when we are headed for the ditch.

But how?

Glowing maze in the silhouette of a human head on dark background
Tetelestai Recovery

Rerouting Your Brain: Overcoming Circular Thinking Patterns

“Be very careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

To level up, we must evaluate the quality of our thoughts. There are established neuropathways in our brains that need to be rerouted. We do not wish to remain stuck in circular thought processes, like mental roundabouts, which have no outlet or resolution.


When suspicious thoughts come to mind, after an encounter with someone we don’t trust, we go into self-preservation mode and begin analyzing all the things they said or did that just don’t add up. We evaluate our observations to confirm our suspicions. We are angry that they think we can be so easily manipulated. We contemplate ways we can call it out and let them know we are onto them.

Our mental trails lead us into darkened paths, where we get tangled in the weeds of irritation and resentment. We are offended and angered by such a lack of respect. We vow to be more defiant and difficult, to prevent ourselves from being underestimated again.

By the time we cycle through the process described in the last two paragraphs, several hours have passed and we find ourselves in a depressive state of mind. The series of events that triggered the entire process are irrelevant. Our thoughts, fears, and imaginations merged into a twisted reality that we forced ourselves to endure.

Dining table with Christmas decorations, wine bottles, glasses, and place settings
Tetelestai Recovery

Navigating Emotional Turmoil in Family Relationships

We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code…

Person walking alone on a winding country road at dusk with bare trees around.
Tetelestai Recovery

Confronting Self-Sabotage: Breaking the Cycle

When we run from our dysfunctions, we are ill-equipped for what is in store for us. We seem to find ourselves facing one crisis after another. Often, we walk right into them as if we planned it that way. Self-sabotage is something we practice on a regular basis but really don’t understand why.

No matter where we go, conflict soon follows. As it turns out, our self-defense techniques are portable. We carry them from one relationship to another; one job to another; one church to another. We are searching for the perfect hideaway. We hope someday our dysfunctions will magically disappear and we will never see them again. But time after time, we are hit head-on with a new threat to our well-being and those same dysfunctions rear their ugly heads again…

A man in simple robes gently comforting a distressed older man on a dirt path with olive trees and stone buildings in the background
Tetelestai Recovery

Embracing Confidence in God’s Perfection

Being confident of this very thing, that he, who hath begun a good work in you, will perfect it unto the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

It feels wrong to say we are perfect. We aren’t quite sure how to align the character qualities of honesty and humility with such a bold statement. It seems like both a brag and a lie.

Yet, we believe in a God of faith, who “calls things that are not, as if they are” (Romans 4:17). His words make things happen and His words say we are being made perfect.

Therefore, if we remove the dimension of time, we can most assuredly say that somewhere in time, it has happened. Therefore, we step outside of time and claim it now. We call out what God has promised and continue declaring it until the truth becomes our reality… 

Hiker standing on rocky ridge overlooking valley illuminated by sunrays through clouds
Tetelestai Recovery

From Struggle to Serenity: Embracing Change

Greed, lust, strife, envy, deception, and fear were familiar to us. Generosity, honesty, loyalty, wisdom, honor, and humility existed outside of our comfort zone. These traits seemed unattainable for those of us who seemed so deeply damaged.

We sometimes felt it was impossible to be comfortable in such unfamiliar territory.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)

Within these words of Jesus, we found our stability. We stopped beating ourselves up for failing to accomplish what no human could. We realized our New Normal was a gift from God. We could not force it or coerce it. We would not need to use our old manipulation techniques to con Him into giving us a new life.

We found relief in knowing that it was His pleasure to make us into the people He designed us to be.