Tetelestai Recovery

Understanding Emotional Depletion and Its Impact

When our emotional center becomes depleted, it is easy to just shut down and go dark. For some of us, the darkness is called depression, and we struggle with thoughts of self-harm. For some of us, the darkness is shoved aside with distractions. We bury ourselves in work, entertainment, shopping, or anything else that will keep us from dealing with our unmet emotional needs.

These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.

We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault. To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us and realize how foolish it was to think that they wouldn’t.

Tetelestai Recovery

Why Unmet Emotional Needs Can Deplete Us

We sometimes struggle in our relationships. We are confident, capable, and intelligent, yet the difficulty of certain interpersonal pressure makes us feel inadequate, insecure, and inferior. We sometimes invest ourselves in human connections but end up feeling depleted and exhausted. When our emotional needs are ignored, we feel short-changed. We need a place to find replenishment when our emotional pool runs dry.

We sometimes invest our emotional energy into relationships that consume us. We invest generously, with hopes of a healthy return, but face bitter disappointment when the dividends are given to another. Even when we invest into a mutually compatible relationship, we may still fail to see any substantial gains to our emotional portfolio.

We feel as if our investments should be growing and gaining in value but unfortunately, our emotional energy just does not replenish itself. Other human beings will not and cannot replenish us. Emotional needs are a problem. They have been a part of our lives, long before we knew what to call them.



Tetelestai Recovery

Embracing Positivity in Faith Communities

As we level up, we begin to realize how unproductive it is to spend time analyzing controversial topics or arguing over the meaning of obscure scriptures. We avoid the debaters and instigators. We steer clear of the loud, sweaty preachers yelling about sin and eternal damnation.

We choose rather to participate in worship services, recovery groups, and Bible studies that are surging with positivity and hope. Our fellowship gatherings serve as a recharging station where we plug into the power and become energized for the work ahead.

We focus on encouraging the gifts and talents of fellow believers.

We remain open to new opportunities, even though we feel awkward outside of our comfort zones. We understand that fear of the unknown is an obstacle everyone encounters, but it need not hold us back.

We stay open to change and ready to pivot at a moment’s notice, in response to the Spirit’s directives.


Tetelestai Recovery

How Boredom Drives Self-Destructive Habits

As we examined the subtext hidden under the umbrella of this word boredom, we were amazed at how many addictions and dysfunctional behaviors were represented within this bizarre human condition.

We evaluated the times when we felt uncomfortable with our thoughts and behaviors and found there was typically a sense of dullness casting its shadow over the moment.

Boredom meant we were discontent with the level of stimulation occurring in our brains or bodies. To combat discontentment, we looked for outside stimuli to create an artificial sense of satisfaction. Many of us in the group had found a temporary fix through drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, nicotine, revenge, relationships, or food. However, once those self-destructive tendencies were conquered, we found more socially acceptable addictions like workaholism, perfectionism, intellectualism, and a slew of other ‘isms’.


Tetelestai Recovery

Awakening Your Hidden Talents

Meditation Moment                

  • Name some unique traits or interests that you remember having when you were younger:
    • Examples: Unique ideas or inventions, building things, taking things apart, making people laugh, helping friends with homework, caring for pets, etc.
    • Other Traits: exceptionally sensitive and empathetic, compassionate, attentive to detail, energetic and enthusiastic, strong-willed, etc.

  • What was the most common use of your imagination when you were young?
    • For example: Developing new and better ways of doing ordinary tasks, writing stories, creating artwork, playing musical instruments, singing, inventing new games, improving old games, developing team strategies, etc.

  • Are there unique qualities and talents buried inside you that God is telling you to call back to life?

Tetelestai Recovery

Healing from Emotional Tar Pits: Fuel for the Future

Astronaut standing near a bubbling dark toxic crater surrounded by animal skeletons in a rocky canyon

In the natural realm, we knew that all dead things did not fossilize. Some decomposed and turned into fuel. We realized it was no different in the spirit realm. We had spoken the words of God to our hard hearts and fossilized past. We watched as He brought our dead dreams back to life.

But we were also faced with the dilemma of what to do with the decomposing compost heap of our past, which should never be called back to life? What of the crimes, the addiction, the lost relationships, and wasted years? We certainly didn’t wish to see those carcasses rising up like zombies from the swamp.

Through this conflict, we discovered the significance of fossil fuels. As the hardened skeletal remains were good for a resurrection, the fossil fuel, made from decomposing waste, could be purified, and used as fuel to propel us into our destiny. A criminal history could be transformed into the fuel which would activate a prison ministry. A struggle with addiction and relapse could fuel a new recovery program. A failed relationship could provide the energy for personal growth in matters of romance and respect…

Tetelestai Recovery

From Disappointment to Destiny: Finding Purpose Again

In time, we became willing to enter our own valley of dry bones (Ezekiel 37) to speak life over what had been dead for so long.

We found the lifeless remains of enthusiasm, which had been suffocated by disappointment. We found fossils of unfinished projects, which might have been profound, had we not given up. We unearthed splintered fragments of gifts, talents, and abilities which had become casualties of our own sense of inadequacy.

Rather than viewing the carnage as evidence of a wasted life, we began to see it as dry bones coming back to life. By faith, we saw a powerful future rising up from the wreckage of our past.

In our New Normal, we spoke life over anything which reeked of death. In our New Normal, we commanded our dead dreams to rise up in service to our King. We did not think this was too much to expect, for we had been given the resurrection power of Christ. We had been urged to follow in the footsteps of our Creator, who…

“Gives life to the dead and calls into existence things that don’t yet exist.”  (Romans 4:17)


Tetelestai Recovery

Digging Deep: The Emotional Excavation Site of Our Souls

Workers digging and excavating artifacts inside a large human head-shaped cave.

We felt as if our emotional center resembled an excavation site; filled with bulldozers, backhoes, and caution tape. Once the surface-level layers were removed, the process became more meticulous and precise.

An archeological dig often begins with heavy equipment, but the expert precision near the treasure is done with a toothpick and tiny brush. So too, our soul dig went through a transformation. It seemed as if it had begun with a total upheaval of our surface level behaviors and lots of changes to the landscape. But eventually, the progress slowed, and we got discouraged. We didn’t realize God needed to use a lighter touch as He sifted carefully through our broken fragments.

His work was so quiet and gentle, we sometimes wondered if He was even doing anything at all. We loved the big, dramatic, exciting changes which we passionately recalled to anyone who would listen. However, the small, hidden changes were tedious and exhausting. They were not nearly as noticeable. At times, we wondered if we might lose interest, or worse, perhaps God might…



Tetelestai Recovery

Earning Respect Instead of Demanding It: A New Perspective

Warrior in armor and elf in hooded cloak shaking hands surrounded by magical energy

Our New Normal offered many pleasant surprises. Some of our upgrades were unfamiliar, yet welcome. We enjoyed becoming an honorable person. We were delighted to be viewed as trustworthy. We stopped demanding respect and began earning it. We appreciated the new opportunities God sent our way. We looked in amazement at the doors which stood open in front of us. We looked with gratitude at the doors which had closed behind us.

The glaringly obvious issues had been removed with Jesus’ words, “It is finished!” and once we began moving out of our active addiction, much of the chaos connected with our former lifestyle settled down. We looked to the future with hope and knew that God was working out the more subtle issues, one at a time, little by little…


Tetelestai Recovery

Finding God’s Purpose: Overcoming Personal Weaknesses

We found relief in knowing that it was His pleasure to make us into the people He designed us to be.

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to do what pleases Him.” 

(Philippians 2:13)   


   

Since time did not exist in the spiritual realm, we held fast to our faith that somewhere in time, His work in us had been completed.

“I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 1:6)


We claimed our territory in the New Normal, assured that He would drive out our defects, one issue at a time.

“Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of your territory.”

(Exodus 23:30)


We became confident in God’s declaration that He had gifted us with the proper tools and traits to become functional in the land of our New Normal.

“God gives life to the dead and calls things into existence that do not exist.”

(Romans 4:17)


  1. What defect has God taken away that you never thought possible?
  2. What defect has God removed that you didn’t even realize was a defect?
  3. What defect has God removed which made you feel as if you lost a part of yourself?
  4. What defect would you like God to remove now?