Tag: Recovery

Tetelestai Recovery

Unmet Needs

lastwordrecovery

These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.

We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault.

To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us. We must admit, we are foolish to think they won’t. They are human too!

 From this new perspective, we begin to see Philippians 4:19 much differently. God promises to meet all our needs. Not just physical and spiritual, but emotional as well. So, we must now ask ourselves, “What are some of my emotional needs?”

  • The need to be needed.
  • The need to be loved.
  • The need for relationships.
  • The need for encouragement.
  • The need to love without fear.
  • The need to be significant.
  • The need to be useful.
  • The need to be content.
  • The need to feel worthy.
  • The need to have a sense of purpose.
  • The need to have a sense of direction.
  • The need for boundaries.
  • The need for security.
  • The need for approval.
  • The need for respect.
read more

Tetelestai Recovery

Stop the Madness

lastwordrecovery

After escaping Crazytown, David finds a cave to hide in, alone (1 Samuel 22). It is a safe place, where he no longer has to answer difficult questions or pretend to be someone he is not. However, his alone time to power down and reboot doesn’t last long. Members of his family hear of his whereabouts and come to join him.

We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code.

_________________

Eventually, David enlists the help of a neighboring king to look after his family so he can heal. We can’t help but notice that this sounds an awful lot like an Al-Anon topic. Family members can be part of the recovery process, but it is not appropriate to become cave dwellers too, just to show their support.

Chapter Seven – Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

Tetelestai Recovery

Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave

lastwordrecovery

In 1 Samuel 22, we read about David, the would-be king who is making decisions clouded by dysfunction. The story begins with rejection, danger, and drama. David is at risk. He has experienced trauma. He is out of his element, all alone, and without clear direction. His life has come down to a series of geographical moves and his only reason is simple, “I am here because it was not safe there.”

These words ring true for us as well. We have experienced trauma. In response, we run, we tell lies, we act crazy, and in the end, we finally find a cave where we can hide.

We enter our caves carrying something that makes us feel fierce. We carry memories of times when we weren’t so weak. Despite our insecurities and weakness, we also know there is resilience, tenacity, and charisma woven into our DNA by the Creator of the Universe.

In David’s story, he had the sword of Goliath strapped to his side, reminding him of his greatest victory. But, later, after experiencing his own trauma, it seemed his glory days were over. He is hiding in a cave which he refers to as his stronghold. Battling anxiety, depression, and loss, the cave becomes a makeshift fort for David and his absent army. Bringing an abrupt end to his promising career, his entire future has been destroyed by one man. The grief was too much to bear.

The man who once killed a giant with a rock, got hit between the eyes with trauma and it took him to a dark place. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the same. He is alone. He is unprepared. He is in self-defense mode, and his behavior becomes irrational and unpredictable.

We too have experienced moments of trauma, laying the groundwork for our current dysfunctions. Whether we can remember them or not, each of us has heard, seen, or experienced things that made us feel unsafe, forcing us into unhealthy coping patterns. For some, the trauma was a single event, such as an accident, an illness, or a loss. For others, the trauma came gradually in waves, due to chronic pain, devastating disappointments, years of neglect, indifference, or abuse from a parent or spouse, or the emotional baggage of living in a deeply dysfunctional environment.

Chapter 7, Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

Home

Just Like Jesus

lastwordrecovery

Everything that we have experienced thus far fits perfectly into our destiny. We can be safe in this moment right here, right now, today. Our transformed nature tells us to live loving, and compassionate toward others. We have a choice in how we live out our days, months, years, and decades in this dimension before we transition into everlasting life. When we choose to live the way Jesus taught, we choose God’s plan for us. If we veer off onto the wrong path, God will redirect us to get us back on the right one.  

Each life represents a ministry in itself. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a father, a business executive, a seamstress, a farmer, a craftsman, an administrative assistant, a grandparent, or any other personal or professional position, your life is a ministry.

Some of us see it during our careers, yet others have trouble figuring out what their ministry might look like. All of us have a ministry.  Maybe it’s ministering to your family. Maybe it is mentoring a young person or a neighbor. Perhaps you are caring for an ailing parent, spouse, friend, or sibling.

As a remodeler, I see where God loves to decorate our lives. God HAS to decorate us by His very nature. While He knows what we have done and where we are going, He continues to guide us, polish us, sand down our rough edges, and make additions that will continue our journey.

Let the Holy Spirit live long enough in a heart and that heart will be transformed. Portraits of hurt are replaced by landscapes of grace. Walls of anger are torn down and crumbling foundations are built up. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a parent can leave their infant’s diaper unchanged.

This could explain some of the discomfort in your life. Remodeling the heart is not always pleasant. We don’t object if a carpenter adds a few shelves, but it can be inconvenient and even painful when the entire kitchen is gutted for a total renovation.

God has such high aspirations for you. He envisions a complete restoration. He won’t stop until He is finished. He wants you to be just like Jesus.

Tetelestai Recovery

On A Mission

lastwordrecovery

Knowing that God speaks to His children in all sorts of unique ways, we suddenly recognized His voice speaking to us from the creativity of writers and actors on our television screen. We identified with the heroes. We saw ourselves playing the role assigned to us by the God of the Galaxies. We became aware in a way unlike ever before that we were on a mission which would influence millions, change the course of history, and create spiritual wavelengths which would echo into the centuries to come.

Excited by the prospect of finding our true purpose, we searched for clues. We prayed for wisdom and guidance. We searched the sacred text of our Bibles and studied the writings of many and watched for attributes to immerge which would reveal our divine destiny. We took personality and spiritual gift tests to narrow the scope. Eventually, we had enough clues to piece the puzzle together, and our spirits soared with great enthusiasm. We looked back over our life and realized that the destiny had been there all along and every step of the journey was preparation for the main event.

But still we questioned whether we could actually fulfill our mission. We knew our impulsive nature had caused us to make some terribly bad choices in the past, so we wondered if this was God’s call or just a delusion of grandeur. The thought of God calling us to something of eternal magnitude seemed a little ridiculous and really crazy.

We had to question whether our passionate reaction to the prospect of hearing this divine call was our love for Him or our own search for significance?  Maybe it was both. And maybe that was okay.

Was it presumptuous to think that the God of the Universe had hand selected us to do something special for Him?

  • Was it ego…or was it faith?
  • Would we really be able to participate in bringing the Kingdom to earth?
  • Were we truly able to alter the course of history?

Our skeptical voices questioned, “Why would God call me?”

Our awakened spirits responded, “Why not me?”

Chapter 13, The Next Right Thing https://a.co/d/i0rjHBr

Tetelestai Recovery

Full Coverage

lastwordrecovery

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we are required to sustain the damage done to us. Nor does it mean we must act like it never happened and open ourselves up to additional injury. Forgiveness means we invoke the rights of our Divine Insurance Policy and submit our claims to the God of Angel Armies.

Full coverage guarantees a 4-R response. God promises to: Reimburse us for our loss; Repair our damage; and Restore our dignity. The 4th R is Revenge for our assailants, which God promises to dole out in justice, provided we not try to attempt it ourselves.

We want proof that God will extract payment from those who damage us. We find our answer in both the Old and New Testaments:

“I will return on your own heads what you have done.” The Lord has spoken. Joel 3:7

They will be paid back for the harm they have done. 1 Peter 2:13

We learn that we need not exhaust ourselves with horizontal efforts to recover our losses by extracting payments from those who owe us more than they could ever repay, even if they wanted to. We simply submit our claims to God and wait for His reimbursement. We can finally relax and forgive as we let go and let God. It’s a vertical issue!

Tetelestai Recovery 2: Our New Normal; Chapter 7, Keeping it Vertical https://a.co/d/hZqCsPe

Tetelestai Recovery

Hard to Believe

lastwordrecovery

“Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

**********

My purpose on this planet is not just to stay clean and sober. My purpose is to discover my divine destiny while helping others discover theirs. It is my mission to join forces with the Creator of the Universe in order to bring heaven to earth. I am alive today so that I can tell everyone who suffers from the disease of addiction: there is hope, there is healing, and there is freedom. The supernatural power of Jesus is for you, your family, and your future.

During the times when dark forces are taking their best shot, making your situation look hopeless, you can safely conclude that Jesus is on the scene and the enemy has just been served notice of eviction.

Maintain your conversation with Jesus, and never let your gaze drift to the raging symptoms. If you find it hard to believe, that’s okay. Faith will come. Simply pray the breakthrough prayer:

“Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!”

Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is finished; Chapter 14, The Breakthrough Prayer https://a.co/d/jdfppvK

Tetelestai Recovery

Lori’s Story

lastwordrecovery

I was plagued by the demon of addiction. It made do and say crazy things. I hurt those I loved. Addiction made me depressed, unreliable, and unreasonable. I now know that the demon of addiction is a shapeshifter and never wants to be exposed for its true identity. My opioid prescriptions were as addictive as any street drug, if not more so. Still, I considered myself immune to the label addict, preferring to call my drug of choice, medication.

Pain pills after a back injury made me feel the way I’d always wanted to feel. The opioids triggered a reaction in my brain and slowly, like a dimmer switch, my mind lost its luster. I failed to recognize how lifeless and dull it had become as I moved through my days in a flurry of activity, struggling to prove that I was not the person I had become. I became disoriented in the darkness for many years, and I lost all hope that it might be possible to get free. I believed my pain would be unbearable if I ever stopped taking the pills. It was a deceitful lie straight from the pit and one that wreaked havoc on everything and everyone in my path.

I needed help. I needed hope. I needed healing and deliverance from a dark captor who refused to release me. I needed someone to stand in the gap and believe for me, because I had lost even a spark of faith to believe for myself.

Through a catastrophic chain of events, in the very lowest point of my life, I met some brave believers who stood in the gap for me with their own faith; just like the father did for his son in Mark 9:18-27. Any flicker of faith I may have possessed before that time had been snuffed out and I was lost in the darkness. These kind souls came to me in my despair and showed me the light of Christ’s love. From the illumination of their light, I began to see Jesus in a way I had never seen before. He appeared as my healer, my deliverer, and most importantly, my rescuer. He accepted me in my fallen position and still loved me, despite who I had become.

Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is Finished, Chapter 14 The Breakthrough https://a.co/d/gqrG8QF

Tetelestai Recovery

How Much Is Enough?

lastwordrecovery

In all honesty, we knew that God, in His infinite wisdom, would never give us more wealth than we were spiritually mature enough to handle. But we also knew that the devil was crafty and if he could keep our focus on money, whether too much or not enough, we could remain distracted from our destiny and thus, make his job a lot easier. Looking back, we saw that when we pursued our own financial security, it put God in a very precarious position. He wanted us to have a sense of security, but not so much that we became independent of Him.

Jesus Himself taught us to pray, “Give us today our daily bread,” showing that our Father welcomes us to ask for what we need, when we need it. We do not have to beg or plead; nor do we need to hoard or steal.

In the book of Exodus, manna was provided in the wilderness on a day-by-day basis. Gathering ahead of time was pointless because it wouldn’t keep overnight. God knew that humans were hoarders by nature. Not much has changed since then. We are still prone to squirreling away our supplies just in case God fails to come through for us in the future. We inventory our supplies and check our bank balance whenever we feel insecure. When we suffer loss, we feel powerless. When we see an increase, we feel powerful, yet more insecure than ever.

Much like the other pursuits we struggled with, such as drugs, alcohol, sex, perfectionism, popularity, and many others, we had trouble finding a point at which we could say, “This is enough, I am completely satisfied and content. I do not need any more.”

Tetelestai Recovery 2 – Our New Normal https://a.co/d/5RV2z8z

Tetelestai Recovery

Wall Facers

lastwordrecovery

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, “Remember Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: ‘I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you’”. Isaiah 38:1-5

*************

Although the word had come to him from God through the prophet, King Hezekiah did not resign himself to this fate. He turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord. He did not accept a decree from the Lord as unchangeable.

We learned that God doesn’t expect us to just wring our hands and sigh when things aren’t working out. He wants us to speak words of faith and collaborate with Him on a solution. We aren’t required to accept our lot in life and mutter in defeat, “Well, I guess it just isn’t God’s will.”

Instead, He wants us to become a wall facer, praying with determination to negotiate a plan with Him. God is waiting for us to offer some pushback and reason it out with Him. 

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. Isaiah 1:18

****************

In our New Normal, we are NOT called to be weak and helpless. God is NOT glorified when we hang our heads and shrug off our troubled marriages, our lost children, or our criminal records. Since we are told in the book of Hebrews to come boldly to the throne of Grace where we can find mercy and help, we present our case, and ask for a ruling from the Judge in our favor.

Tetelestai Recovery 2: Our New Normal https://a.co/d/akjwVNj