Tag: Recovery

Tetelestai Recovery

The Two Big Lies

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Our minds were filled with fear, but the fears were not always clearly defined. So, we examined our fears more closely and realized they were rooted in two basic lies.

1. We Were Not Enough

    We feared that we weren’t smart or capable enough to maintain our place on this planet. We feared we would not be able to make good enough plans and follow through on them. We feared we would not be able to earn enough money to pay the bills. We feared we could not meet the expectations others had for us, or those we had for ourselves.

    We feared that our ‘not-enough-ness’ would be discovered and we would be humiliated. We feared social settings because we were not interesting enough. We feared being forgotten because we just weren’t very remarkable. We feared being abandoned because we just didn’t bring enough to the table.

    We feared that we were ill-equipped and woefully inadequate to handle the overwhelming responsibility of life on this planet.

    2. We were too much.

      We feared that we were too much trouble and not worth the effort. We feared that we were too boring, too impatient, too greedy, too lustful, too resentful, or too lazy.

      We feared that we were too insistent on getting our own way. We feared that our sense of entitlement and list of demands were turning us into tyrants.

      We feared being alone because sometimes we were too much, even for ourselves.

      Chapter 5 – The Fear Factor

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      Tetelestai Recovery

      It Is Finished

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      We noticed that Jesus’ final word tetelestai, translated into the English phrase, it is finished, seemed to imply a sense of giving up. We found this to be an unfortunate language barrier. As it turned out, in the original Greek language of the New Testament, this word tetelestai is a declaration of victory, completion, and success.

      Tetelestai is the comment an artist might whisper after completing his final brush stroke on a masterpiece.

      Tetelestai is the report a soldier would bring to his commanding officer when a battle was over, and victory had been secured.

      We believe our Savior used His final breath on the cross to declare for all time, to all creation, in every dimension, that there is nothing left undone: It is finished; Tetelestai.

      There is no more drudgery to sobriety and no more anguish to recovery. There is no self-effort which must be added to what has been declared, Tetelestai.

      IT IS FINISHED

      In matters of our recovery from substance addiction and the mental dysfunction which accompanied it, we were completely helpless. We had no thoughts that could heal our thoughts. We had no disclosure that could remove our secret shame. We had no detour that would lead us out of the darkness. We were lost. We were alone. We were afraid.

      But suddenly, in a random, unexplainable moment, the gift of Tetelestai was revealed. We had run out of options, yet in that barren wasteland of emptiness, we stumbled upon a treasure trove of truth.

      Chapter 1 – Out of Options

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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Unmet Needs

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      These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.

      We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault.

      To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us. We must admit, we are foolish to think they won’t. They are human too!

       From this new perspective, we begin to see Philippians 4:19 much differently. God promises to meet all our needs. Not just physical and spiritual, but emotional as well. So, we must now ask ourselves, “What are some of my emotional needs?”

      • The need to be needed.
      • The need to be loved.
      • The need for relationships.
      • The need for encouragement.
      • The need to love without fear.
      • The need to be significant.
      • The need to be useful.
      • The need to be content.
      • The need to feel worthy.
      • The need to have a sense of purpose.
      • The need to have a sense of direction.
      • The need for boundaries.
      • The need for security.
      • The need for approval.
      • The need for respect.
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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Stop the Madness

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      After escaping Crazytown, David finds a cave to hide in, alone (1 Samuel 22). It is a safe place, where he no longer has to answer difficult questions or pretend to be someone he is not. However, his alone time to power down and reboot doesn’t last long. Members of his family hear of his whereabouts and come to join him.

      We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

      It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

      Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

      Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code.

      _________________

      Eventually, David enlists the help of a neighboring king to look after his family so he can heal. We can’t help but notice that this sounds an awful lot like an Al-Anon topic. Family members can be part of the recovery process, but it is not appropriate to become cave dwellers too, just to show their support.

      Chapter Seven – Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave

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      In 1 Samuel 22, we read about David, the would-be king who is making decisions clouded by dysfunction. The story begins with rejection, danger, and drama. David is at risk. He has experienced trauma. He is out of his element, all alone, and without clear direction. His life has come down to a series of geographical moves and his only reason is simple, “I am here because it was not safe there.”

      These words ring true for us as well. We have experienced trauma. In response, we run, we tell lies, we act crazy, and in the end, we finally find a cave where we can hide.

      We enter our caves carrying something that makes us feel fierce. We carry memories of times when we weren’t so weak. Despite our insecurities and weakness, we also know there is resilience, tenacity, and charisma woven into our DNA by the Creator of the Universe.

      In David’s story, he had the sword of Goliath strapped to his side, reminding him of his greatest victory. But, later, after experiencing his own trauma, it seemed his glory days were over. He is hiding in a cave which he refers to as his stronghold. Battling anxiety, depression, and loss, the cave becomes a makeshift fort for David and his absent army. Bringing an abrupt end to his promising career, his entire future has been destroyed by one man. The grief was too much to bear.

      The man who once killed a giant with a rock, got hit between the eyes with trauma and it took him to a dark place. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the same. He is alone. He is unprepared. He is in self-defense mode, and his behavior becomes irrational and unpredictable.

      We too have experienced moments of trauma, laying the groundwork for our current dysfunctions. Whether we can remember them or not, each of us has heard, seen, or experienced things that made us feel unsafe, forcing us into unhealthy coping patterns. For some, the trauma was a single event, such as an accident, an illness, or a loss. For others, the trauma came gradually in waves, due to chronic pain, devastating disappointments, years of neglect, indifference, or abuse from a parent or spouse, or the emotional baggage of living in a deeply dysfunctional environment.

      Chapter 7, Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

      Home

      Just Like Jesus

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      Everything that we have experienced thus far fits perfectly into our destiny. We can be safe in this moment right here, right now, today. Our transformed nature tells us to live loving, and compassionate toward others. We have a choice in how we live out our days, months, years, and decades in this dimension before we transition into everlasting life. When we choose to live the way Jesus taught, we choose God’s plan for us. If we veer off onto the wrong path, God will redirect us to get us back on the right one.  

      Each life represents a ministry in itself. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a father, a business executive, a seamstress, a farmer, a craftsman, an administrative assistant, a grandparent, or any other personal or professional position, your life is a ministry.

      Some of us see it during our careers, yet others have trouble figuring out what their ministry might look like. All of us have a ministry.  Maybe it’s ministering to your family. Maybe it is mentoring a young person or a neighbor. Perhaps you are caring for an ailing parent, spouse, friend, or sibling.

      As a remodeler, I see where God loves to decorate our lives. God HAS to decorate us by His very nature. While He knows what we have done and where we are going, He continues to guide us, polish us, sand down our rough edges, and make additions that will continue our journey.

      Let the Holy Spirit live long enough in a heart and that heart will be transformed. Portraits of hurt are replaced by landscapes of grace. Walls of anger are torn down and crumbling foundations are built up. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a parent can leave their infant’s diaper unchanged.

      This could explain some of the discomfort in your life. Remodeling the heart is not always pleasant. We don’t object if a carpenter adds a few shelves, but it can be inconvenient and even painful when the entire kitchen is gutted for a total renovation.

      God has such high aspirations for you. He envisions a complete restoration. He won’t stop until He is finished. He wants you to be just like Jesus.

      Tetelestai Recovery

      On A Mission

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      Knowing that God speaks to His children in all sorts of unique ways, we suddenly recognized His voice speaking to us from the creativity of writers and actors on our television screen. We identified with the heroes. We saw ourselves playing the role assigned to us by the God of the Galaxies. We became aware in a way unlike ever before that we were on a mission which would influence millions, change the course of history, and create spiritual wavelengths which would echo into the centuries to come.

      Excited by the prospect of finding our true purpose, we searched for clues. We prayed for wisdom and guidance. We searched the sacred text of our Bibles and studied the writings of many and watched for attributes to immerge which would reveal our divine destiny. We took personality and spiritual gift tests to narrow the scope. Eventually, we had enough clues to piece the puzzle together, and our spirits soared with great enthusiasm. We looked back over our life and realized that the destiny had been there all along and every step of the journey was preparation for the main event.

      But still we questioned whether we could actually fulfill our mission. We knew our impulsive nature had caused us to make some terribly bad choices in the past, so we wondered if this was God’s call or just a delusion of grandeur. The thought of God calling us to something of eternal magnitude seemed a little ridiculous and really crazy.

      We had to question whether our passionate reaction to the prospect of hearing this divine call was our love for Him or our own search for significance?  Maybe it was both. And maybe that was okay.

      Was it presumptuous to think that the God of the Universe had hand selected us to do something special for Him?

      • Was it ego…or was it faith?
      • Would we really be able to participate in bringing the Kingdom to earth?
      • Were we truly able to alter the course of history?

      Our skeptical voices questioned, “Why would God call me?”

      Our awakened spirits responded, “Why not me?”

      Chapter 13, The Next Right Thing https://a.co/d/i0rjHBr

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Full Coverage

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      Forgiveness doesn’t mean we are required to sustain the damage done to us. Nor does it mean we must act like it never happened and open ourselves up to additional injury. Forgiveness means we invoke the rights of our Divine Insurance Policy and submit our claims to the God of Angel Armies.

      Full coverage guarantees a 4-R response. God promises to: Reimburse us for our loss; Repair our damage; and Restore our dignity. The 4th R is Revenge for our assailants, which God promises to dole out in justice, provided we not try to attempt it ourselves.

      We want proof that God will extract payment from those who damage us. We find our answer in both the Old and New Testaments:

      “I will return on your own heads what you have done.” The Lord has spoken. Joel 3:7

      They will be paid back for the harm they have done. 1 Peter 2:13

      We learn that we need not exhaust ourselves with horizontal efforts to recover our losses by extracting payments from those who owe us more than they could ever repay, even if they wanted to. We simply submit our claims to God and wait for His reimbursement. We can finally relax and forgive as we let go and let God. It’s a vertical issue!

      Tetelestai Recovery 2: Our New Normal; Chapter 7, Keeping it Vertical https://a.co/d/hZqCsPe

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Hard to Believe

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      “Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

      **********

      My purpose on this planet is not just to stay clean and sober. My purpose is to discover my divine destiny while helping others discover theirs. It is my mission to join forces with the Creator of the Universe in order to bring heaven to earth. I am alive today so that I can tell everyone who suffers from the disease of addiction: there is hope, there is healing, and there is freedom. The supernatural power of Jesus is for you, your family, and your future.

      During the times when dark forces are taking their best shot, making your situation look hopeless, you can safely conclude that Jesus is on the scene and the enemy has just been served notice of eviction.

      Maintain your conversation with Jesus, and never let your gaze drift to the raging symptoms. If you find it hard to believe, that’s okay. Faith will come. Simply pray the breakthrough prayer:

      “Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!”

      Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is finished; Chapter 14, The Breakthrough Prayer https://a.co/d/jdfppvK

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Lori’s Story

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      I was plagued by the demon of addiction. It made do and say crazy things. I hurt those I loved. Addiction made me depressed, unreliable, and unreasonable. I now know that the demon of addiction is a shapeshifter and never wants to be exposed for its true identity. My opioid prescriptions were as addictive as any street drug, if not more so. Still, I considered myself immune to the label addict, preferring to call my drug of choice, medication.

      Pain pills after a back injury made me feel the way I’d always wanted to feel. The opioids triggered a reaction in my brain and slowly, like a dimmer switch, my mind lost its luster. I failed to recognize how lifeless and dull it had become as I moved through my days in a flurry of activity, struggling to prove that I was not the person I had become. I became disoriented in the darkness for many years, and I lost all hope that it might be possible to get free. I believed my pain would be unbearable if I ever stopped taking the pills. It was a deceitful lie straight from the pit and one that wreaked havoc on everything and everyone in my path.

      I needed help. I needed hope. I needed healing and deliverance from a dark captor who refused to release me. I needed someone to stand in the gap and believe for me, because I had lost even a spark of faith to believe for myself.

      Through a catastrophic chain of events, in the very lowest point of my life, I met some brave believers who stood in the gap for me with their own faith; just like the father did for his son in Mark 9:18-27. Any flicker of faith I may have possessed before that time had been snuffed out and I was lost in the darkness. These kind souls came to me in my despair and showed me the light of Christ’s love. From the illumination of their light, I began to see Jesus in a way I had never seen before. He appeared as my healer, my deliverer, and most importantly, my rescuer. He accepted me in my fallen position and still loved me, despite who I had become.

      Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is Finished, Chapter 14 The Breakthrough https://a.co/d/gqrG8QF