Tag: Recovery

Tetelestai Recovery

Stepping Out in Faith: Leaving Your Comfort Zone

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It only takes a little faith for us to get out of the boat and trust Jesus to keep us afloat.

Sure, we want to stay in the safety of the boat where everything is familiar. We also want to experience smooth sailing with no waves or winds.

However, there is a little seed of faith inside that tells us there is so much more to life what we have known. We are certain that we have a destiny to fulfill. We know it starts with a single step; out of the comfort zone and into the unknown.

We take a deep breath, whisper, “It is finished!” to our fear of change and take that first shaky step toward the sound of His voice.

  • Think about a time when fear has kept you from getting out of the boat: (making a life-altering decision; going back to school; starting a new job; taking a risk, moving forward, etc.)
    • Think about a time when you have taken a risk to move forward despite the presence of natural fear? How has that experience empowered you?
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    Tetelestai Recovery

    The Illusion of Relief: Understanding Emotional Dependence

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    The presence of unwanted feelings such as insecurity, inadequacy, fear, anger, and other social phobias, coupled with our inability to manage or control them, unleashed within us a desperation for relief at any cost. We soon learned of a temporary reprieve that occurred when our brain chemistry became altered. We didn’t care that the relief would be short lived or cause irreparable damage. The long-awaited relief of rightness, contrasted against the life-long agony of wrongness, offered such an enchanting embrace, we surrendered without a fight.

    Without mind and mood altering substances, we fell into total despair. Sadly, these moments of disparity began to seep into every moment, and the temporary relief withdrew as quickly as it came.

    We became slaves to our feelings. We tested the quality of our product by the way it made us feel. We watched for warning signs of overdose by the way our bodies felt. We discovered ways to get out of responsibilities by saying, “I don’t feel well.” We made all sorts of excuses to ourselves and to others, based on our feelings. We accused our dealer of cutting because his product didn’t make us feel the way we wanted, or the way it used to. We sank into despair when the supply ran out. We drove through blizzards, walked through storms, and did whatever necessary to get the substance that would make us feel right. We went without sleep, food, and basic necessities. We lost relationships and emptied bank accounts in a mad pursuit of a feeling we wanted to feel.

    We were caught in a cycle of frenzied flight. Running from feelings we couldn’t stand. Searching for a feeling we thought we knew. We didn’t like to feel wrong, and we didn’t know how to feel right.

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    Tetelestai Recovery

    Finding True Purpose Beyond Sobriety

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    It was not enough for us to simply stop using mind or mood-altering substances. We needed something more significant. We began to suspect that our primary purpose in life was not simply to stay clean and sober. While sobriety was an honorable ambition, and one we had desired deeply for many years, we found that mere sobriety fell woefully short of the abundant life promised by Jesus. We began to believe that our true purpose was to discover the reason for our existence.

    We came to realize that sobriety was not the end goal. As it turned out, sobriety was simply a way of life we had grown to prefer, since clarity of mind was beneficial in our quest for true purpose...

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    Understanding Tests: Cultivating Patience

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    My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  James 1:2-4

    When caught up in a moment of testing, we must resist letting our feelings and circumstances serve as a litmus test for our faith. It is not healthy, nor is it accurate.

    Tests are for the express purpose of developing patience. Whether the tests come from internal or external forces, they have a purpose. Some of the tests we face are due to our own weaknesses and might easily become our demise, but even then, God always has a better plan. Any test that activates patience is beneficial. Guilt and blame serve no purpose.

    Patience tells us that tests are only temporary. Patience tells us that God is doing a good work in us, and He will complete it. Patience tells us not to judge our walk by one random stumble. Patience keeps us steady as we wait for the storm to pass.

    It is patience that we lack when we throw up our hands and give up. It is patience that we lack when we question our progress. It is patience that will get us to the finish line. It is patience that will help us be gentle with ourselves.

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    Discovering the Power of ‘It is Finished’ in Your Life

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    Whether your it is a little problem or a big one, the proclamation of Jesus, “It is finished!” gives you the power you need to move out of this prison and into the open space of grace.

    Like a blank check, Jesus gave us, “It is finished!” His words have the power to put an end to anything that is an obstacle to your best self. 

    When He said, “It is finished!” He knew it would be specific and unique to every person on the planet. To identify your own, it that may be causing issues, try asking yourself these questions:

    • What consumes your thoughts and energy?
    • What worry keeps you up at night?
    • What behavior makes you feel powerless?
    • What thought paralyzes you with fear?
    • What things about yourself make you cringe?
    • What secret struggle do you keep hidden?
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    Finding New Life After Addiction: A Faith-Based Journey

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    As we called an end to our addiction, using Christ’s words, “It is finished,” our recovery took root and began to grow into a new life filled with promise. We began to detect subtle changes in our thoughts and behaviors, but they often fluctuated so rapidly, we sometimes wondered if they were real or imagined. We understood that the development of our new life would take time, but the changes we had hoped would happen quickly seemed to be taking forever. Many of our old habits, we desperately wished would vanish, continued to linger. And some of the expectations we set for ourselves just weren’t happening.

    However, we also noticed that some of our undesirable behaviors that we previously accepted as normal (or just being human) had disappeared without any effort on our part. In fact, there were some attitudes and mindsets which were so deeply ingrained in our personalities; we didn’t even think they could be removed. Yet, they disappeared without a trace, and we knew it was a God thing.

    We realized that our relationships improved as we lost our drive to maintain the upper hand. As our lust and greed began to diminish, we were pleasantly surprised to find that we had the ability to connect with others in an honorable manner. We enjoyed the responses we received. Where we once bristled at pushback and rejections, we began to enjoy camaraderie and companionship. Where we once used and abused others, in order to assert our power, we found that we grew to appreciate the strength of unity and the influence of a cooperative spirit.

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    Overcoming Adversity: The Power of Yes and No Choices

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    We thought about our individual experiences with yes and no decisions, then shared them with the group.

    One member who had been set free from an addiction to porn, shared his decision-making process when it comes to watching television. He knows which shows will trigger lustful thoughts, so he simply chooses not to watch them. He decides instead to watch sports, cooking shows, and science programs on PBS. He says yes to living free from shame which means he says no to shows that trigger him. Each time he makes that choice, he places himself in a position of power. He continues to pursue his destiny using the wisdom God has given. He is leveling-up into a mature, godly man who demonstrates great leadership skills.

    Another member of the group shared about self-esteem issues. From childhood, he had been trying to cope with the confusion of trauma, unaware of what to call it. He struggled with feelings of unworthiness and was unable to feel a sense of value. That all changed when he made the choice to learn about trauma and its effects. He chose to develop a relationship with Jesus, his Healer. He made a choice to forgive and move away from the pain. Because he says yes to openness, and no to suffering in silence, he now operates in a position of influence and serves as an advocate for others. He has the wisdom of God and the heart of a servant.

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    Using PREPLANT to Combat Negative Thoughts

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    When comparing our cognitive distortions against the eight descriptive words in Philippians 4:8, we find our solution. With these eight guardrails in place, we can choose which thoughts to keep and which ones to set aside.

    • Pure
    • Right
    • Excellent
    • Praiseworthy
    • Lovely
    • Admirable
    • Noble
    • True

    Using the acronym, PREPLANT, we can check ourselves regularly throughout the day to make sure the thoughts running through our heads line up with at least one on the list.

    If a thought does not meet the criteria, it is deemed unhealthy and carries the potential to make us sick. We cannot level up until we let go of the thoughts that don’t measure up.

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    Choose Healthy Thoughts: Level Up Your Mindset

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    When we catch ourselves feeling discouraged or ashamed, we simply ask, “Is this thought excellent and praiseworthy?” If it is not, we need to drop it.

    As hard as it is for us to believe, we have more power over our thoughts than we ever imagined. We find it is perfectly fine to set a negative thought down. We don’t need to lug it around with us until we make sense of it. We aren’t required to analyze and over-think, searching for some secret solution hiding inside our rapid-fire scatter thoughts. We can just let go and let God.

    Unhealthy thoughts are just that. Unhealthy. They can never help us level up. If a thought is not healthy, we can set it down and choose a healthier topic.

    As it turns out, our thoughts are a lot like books in a library. If we happen to pick one out that isn’t good, we can just put it back and choose a better one.

    Using the criteria listed in Philippians 4, while paying particular attention to the instructions following the word finally, we can select our thoughts with intention and precision. We don’t need to be saddled with thoughts that hold us down and hold us back. We are leveling up and need to clear our minds of the unproductive clutter.

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    Navigating Spiritual Highs and Lows

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    Sometimes we make really good progress and are pleased with the distance we cover in such a short time. We feel that our relationship with God is in great shape, and we are motivated by our sense of accomplishment.

    At other times, however, we feel as if we were trudging through mud, putting one foot in front of the other, lacking any drive or inspiration. We feel inadequate, overwhelmed, and disinterested. During these times, we don’t feel so great about our relationship with God. We assume He is disappointed with our lack of energy and enthusiasm.

    These times are rare, but they happen often enough to make us question our stability and resolve. We wonder if one of these periods might last so long that we will just give in and give up.

    We don’t want to lose what we have gained, and we don’t want to miss the joy of the journey, so the thought of trudging through the marshy swampland of doubt, discouragement, and disagreement feels very threatening.

    We love the mountaintops and the flowery meadows, but we must face the fact that dry deserts and muddy bogs are also part of the expedition. We must make peace with both if we want to get where we are going.

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