When comparing our cognitive distortions against the eight descriptive words in Philippians 4:8, we find a way out. With these eight guardrails in place, we can choose which thoughts to keep and which ones to set aside.
Pure
Right
Excellent
Praiseworthy
Lovely
Admirable
Noble
True
Using the acronym, PREPLANT, we can check ourselves regularly throughout the day to make sure the thoughts running through our heads line up with at least one on the list.
If a thought does not meet the criteria, it is deemed unhealthy and carries the potential to make us sick. We cannot level up until we let go of the thoughts that don’t measure up.
You should praise him. He is your God. He has done great and wonderful things for you. You have seen them with your own eyes. Deuteronomy 10:21
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You have been called by God and down deep, you have always known it.
Your destiny will involve many different seasons. It will take on a variety of forms as you move through your allotted time on this planet.
Embedded in the foundation of your spiritual core is an interlocking system consisting of a perfect blend of praise and gratitude.
You are grateful for the peace that replaces discord in your thoughts. You remain ever mindful that gratitude and praise are powerful deterrents to discontentment.
Your gratitude for the things God has done for you is revealed by the enthusiastic way you talk about Him.
You love to get together with friends and family who have this same sense of appreciation for the work of God in their own lives as well.
You love to share stories of miracles and mercy. You openly tell of the times that God has showered you with comfort and compassion during times of great difficulty.
You also enjoy hearing others talk about what God is doing in their lives. You adore being surrounded by people who openly express their gratitude for the blessings of God. On the other hand, you find it tedious and exhausting to be around complainers. You know that a very high level of toxicity is contained within a complaint so you combat its effects with the purposeful practice of praise.
Our minds were filled with fear, but the fears were not always clearly defined. So, we examined our fears more closely and realized they were rooted in two basic lies.
1. We Were Not Enough
We feared that we weren’t smart or capable enough to maintain our place on this planet. We feared we would not be able to make good enough plans and follow through on them. We feared we would not be able to earn enough money to pay the bills. We feared we could not meet the expectations others had for us, or those we had for ourselves.
We feared that our ‘not-enough-ness’ would be discovered and we would be humiliated. We feared social settings because we were not interesting enough. We feared being forgotten because we just weren’t very remarkable. We feared being abandoned because we just didn’t bring enough to the table.
We feared that we were ill-equipped and woefully inadequate to handle the overwhelming responsibility of life on this planet.
2.We were too much.
We feared that we were too much trouble and not worth the effort. We feared that we were too boring, too impatient, too greedy, too lustful, too resentful, or too lazy.
We feared that we were too insistent on getting our own way. We feared that our sense of entitlement and list of demands were turning us into tyrants.
We feared being alone because sometimes we were too much, even for ourselves.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Waiting on God and being certain of His blessings is not pie-in-the-sky or wishful thinking. This faith choice is not presumptuous or improper. Blessings are the divine energy of God empowering us to succeed because we choose to believe in His goodness. He has equipped us with a divine destiny. He wants to see us succeed as much as we do.
And so, we wait for what God has promised, in the same way we might wait at a bus stop, in eager anticipation. We aren’t sitting at some random corner, hoping a bus might drive by. We are positioned at the right place at the right time, waiting for what we know is on its way. We aren’t waiting to see if a hopeful future will appear. We are waiting with confidence, certain of it.
These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.
We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault.
To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us. We must admit, we are foolish to think they won’t. They are human too!
From this new perspective, we begin to see Philippians 4:19 much differently. God promises to meet all our needs. Not just physical and spiritual, but emotional as well. So, we must now ask ourselves, “What are some of my emotional needs?”
After escaping Crazytown, David finds a cave to hide in, alone (1 Samuel 22). It is a safe place, where he no longer has to answer difficult questions or pretend to be someone he is not. However, his alone time to power down and reboot doesn’t last long. Members of his family hear of his whereabouts and come to join him.
We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.
It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.
Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.
Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code.
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Eventually, David enlists the help of a neighboring king to look after his family so he can heal. We can’t help but notice that this sounds an awful lot like an Al-Anon topic. Family members can be part of the recovery process, but it is not appropriate to become cave dwellers too, just to show their support.
In 1 Samuel 22, we read about David, the would-be king who is making decisions clouded by dysfunction. The story begins with rejection, danger, and drama. David is at risk. He has experienced trauma. He is out of his element, all alone, and without clear direction. His life has come down to a series of geographical moves and his only reason is simple, “I am here because it was not safe there.”
These words ring true for us as well. We have experienced trauma. In response, we run, we tell lies, we act crazy, and in the end, we finally find a cave where we can hide.
We enter our caves carrying something that makes us feel fierce. We carry memories of times when we weren’t so weak. Despite our insecurities and weakness, we also know there is resilience, tenacity, and charisma woven into our DNA by the Creator of the Universe.
In David’s story, he had the sword of Goliath strapped to his side, reminding him of his greatest victory. But, later, after experiencing his own trauma, it seemed his glory days were over. He is hiding in a cave which he refers to as his stronghold. Battling anxiety, depression, and loss, the cave becomes a makeshift fort for David and his absent army. Bringing an abrupt end to his promising career, his entire future has been destroyed by one man. The grief was too much to bear.
The man who once killed a giant with a rock, got hit between the eyes with trauma and it took him to a dark place. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the same. He is alone. He is unprepared. He is in self-defense mode, and his behavior becomes irrational and unpredictable.
We too have experienced moments of trauma, laying the groundwork for our current dysfunctions. Whether we can remember them or not, each of us has heard, seen, or experienced things that made us feel unsafe, forcing us into unhealthy coping patterns. For some, the trauma was a single event, such as an accident, an illness, or a loss. For others, the trauma came gradually in waves, due to chronic pain, devastating disappointments, years of neglect, indifference, or abuse from a parent or spouse, or the emotional baggage of living in a deeply dysfunctional environment.
Although introspection is important to growth, it is not the main purpose of our spiritual awakening. We are moving into a new position of authority in Christ. We are leveling up. We are no longer human beings having a spiritual awakening. We are awakened spiritual beings affecting the realm of human existence.
Admittedly, human nature can often get in the way, so we frequently ask the Holy Spirit to show us where we need to improve. We ask for help in making the necessary changes. We believe we receive that help and start thanking God for the results even before we see them. We use the words of Christ, “It is finished!” (Tetelestai) to call an end to our obsession over shortcomings and our continual dialogue of negative self-talk.
Empowered by the Spirit of God, and emboldened by the words of Christ, we let go of the things that trip us up. We release our grip on perfectionism. We dismiss the internal committee in our head who sits in judgement of our every motive, thought, behavior, or attitude. We stop auditioning for the lead role and find our proper place in the supporting cast. With the spotlight on Jesus and what He is doing, we take our eyes off ourselves and are relieved of self-consciousness.
Surely you know that many runners take part in a race, but only one of them wins the prize. Run then, in such a way as to win the prize.
You do not consider your life to be your own. Your know that your life is set on a specific course designed by God. Your existence holds significant implications for future generations and you do not take this responsibility lightly.
This knowledge doesn’t indicate an attitude of presumption or arrogance, but rather, a position of humility. You know that your role is one of duty, rather than comfort or self-indulgence.
You know that without God’s guidance, you would be wandering through life, unsure of your purpose. Without knowing your purpose, you would be subject to life on the proverbial hamster wheel, struggling to find meaning for your existence.
As it turns out, God has given you a special direction in life. He has chosen you for a journey which takes you far beyond your wildest dreams.
You appreciate this call. You are grateful for the destiny you have been given and you know that there is nothing you lack in order to fulfill it.
Contentment comes easy to you because God has enabled you to see through the deception of greed and envy to find the true meaning of life. You do not get entangled with the past, but you press on toward the goal.
God has provided you with clarity of mind and purpose. You are content with what you have and enjoy the pursuit of something greater than personal happiness.
Your desire to follow God’s plan is evident in the paths you take. There are times you inadvertently veer off course, but you recognize it immediately. When this occurs, you listen for the Holy Spirit’s voice, like a spiritual GPS, and get quickly back onto the right road.
God has given you a creative mind which empowers you to press on with enthusiasm and fervor.
When your time on this planet has ended, and your soul is released into the spirit realm, you will be greeted by your Creator. Having run the course and finished your race, He will welcome you home with open arms and proudly declare, “Well done!”
Everything that we have experienced thus far fits perfectly into our destiny. We can be safe in this moment right here, right now, today. Our transformed nature tells us to live loving, and compassionate toward others. We have a choice in how we live out our days, months, years, and decades in this dimension before we transition into everlasting life. When we choose to live the way Jesus taught, we choose God’s plan for us. If we veer off onto the wrong path, God will redirect us to get us back on the right one.
Each life represents a ministry in itself. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a father, a business executive, a seamstress, a farmer, a craftsman, an administrative assistant, a grandparent, or any other personal or professional position, your life is a ministry.
Some of us see it during our careers, yet others have trouble figuring out what their ministry might look like. All of us have a ministry. Maybe it’s ministering to your family. Maybe it is mentoring a young person or a neighbor. Perhaps you are caring for an ailing parent, spouse, friend, or sibling.
As a remodeler, I see where God loves to decorate our lives. God HAS to decorate us by His very nature. While He knows what we have done and where we are going, He continues to guide us, polish us, sand down our rough edges, and make additions that will continue our journey.
Let the Holy Spirit live long enough in a heart and that heart will be transformed. Portraits of hurt are replaced by landscapes of grace. Walls of anger are torn down and crumbling foundations are built up. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a parent can leave their infant’s diaper unchanged.
This could explain some of the discomfort in your life. Remodeling the heart is not always pleasant. We don’t object if a carpenter adds a few shelves, but it can be inconvenient and even painful when the entire kitchen is gutted for a total renovation.
God has such high aspirations for you. He envisions a complete restoration. He won’t stop until He is finished. He wants you to be just like Jesus.
Finding Total Recovery in the Words of Christ, "It is Finished!" 