Tag: Faith

Tetelestai Recovery

Self-Help Was No Help

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Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

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Jesus gave us this promise of peace, translated from the original word shalom, meaning: wholeness; nothing missing; nothing broken. Therefore, if we failed to experience it, we needed to know why.

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Was He a liar? Did He tease us with hope and then pull it away like Lucy holding the football in the Charlie Brown cartoon?

We developed resentment toward this Higher Power who seemingly yanked away our hope, time after time. If He controlled the universe, why didn’t He just snap His fingers and make all our misery disappear?

We questioned Him and His ways. We saw other people receive deliverance and healing from their dysfunctions and we were jealous. We finally concluded that the odds of a miracle landing on us were about the same as a rose petal falling from the sky and landing on our heads.

We knew we couldn’t raise our hopes for a miracle of our own if it was simply a cosmic lottery. We were driven to figure out what we could do to make it happen. We had been taught all our lives that a person gets what they deserve. We feared our relapses and failures had deemed us unworthy.

We knew how to work in the natural realm to get what we wanted. We worked hard. We had built personal empires and seen our own efforts succeed in other areas of life. This made it extremely difficult to understand why we couldn’t succeed in our efforts to maintain consistent sobriety.

We wanted to work for recovery and thus, control the results. We wanted to work for it, so we could own it. We wanted to know we had earned our sobriety. We wanted to receive accolades for how courageous we had been. We wanted to know it had come to us honestly, through hard work and perseverance.

Tragically, we discovered that our work just didn’t work.

Chapter Six, Shalom

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Tetelestai Recovery

Water Walkers

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When Jesus was spotted by His friends, coming toward the boat, they first thought He was a ghost. He knew what they were thinking. Although they should have been relieved to see Him, they were, in fact, terrified instead. He saw the horror in their eyes and realized they weren’t recognizing Him for who He was.

We recall times when we were unaware that Jesus was approaching, and we became frightened by our own misperceptions. We saw death approaching, but in the end, it proved to be the Author of Life. The disciples thought they were seeing a ghost. And much like those young men, we too become afraid of what He represents. Some fear He will leave them. Others fear He will prohibit their self-expression. Some fear He will demand too much or create too much controversy. Many of us encountered a fear of Jesus, not fully understanding who He was or why He’d come.

 Jesus comes to us in different forms. Sometimes He comes in the supernatural realm as an unmistakable tingle of the Great Spirit. Other times He approaches through the Presence of other addicts and inmates whom we fondly refer to as our cell-siblings. Addiction, incarceration, disease, and anxiety were some of the worst storms in our lives, and we were sure some of these issues would be the death of us. Yet, in the midst of these storms, Jesus appeared and offered the opportunity to take a leap of faith and join Him in the supernatural.

In the Sacred Text account, one of the men in the boat, named Peter, asked Jesus to let him come out and walk on the water alongside Him. Jesus of course said, “Sure! Come on out. The water’s fine.” Peter lunged toward the side of the boat as it was rocking and lurching, climbed cautiously over the edge, and slowly lowered his weight onto the swirling liquid. If Jesus was a fraud, the next few seconds would have been the moment of truth. In former miracles, the people who were healed and delivered could have been in cahoots with Him on some elaborate hoax. However, walking on top of water, and inviting another human being to join Him would have been impossible to pull off, had it been a ruse.

The interesting part of this story is when it is taught as an object lesson in some churches, the point always seems to hover over the fact that for a split-second Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink below the surface of the waves. Many preachers belabor the point that Peter lacked faith. We disagree!

There were 11 other men in the boat who didn’t even ask if they could come out onto the water. Peter had faith! Whether he was completely successful in his faith walk or not, he was the only one with the intuition to ask if he could get out of the boat. He was the one who believed in Jesus’ ability to empower him to do it. He knew that in the midst of the storm, the safest place to be was with Jesus. In that moment of clarity, Peter suddenly received a divine revelation. Through this text, we receive the same revelation in our storms. We need not remain powerless and desperate. We are called to function alongside our King, even when natural laws dictate otherwise. Believers can overpower the Natural with the Supernatural.

The power in the spirit realm is faith, and Peter’s faith was increasing exponentially with every risk. His faith account was small, but it was growing. When Jesus asked him “Oh you have such little faith, why did you doubt me?” He was simply letting Peter know that as his faith increased, so would his ability to maintain his position of power in the Spirit realm. Pointing out that Peter had ‘little’ faith was not a reprimand but rather, an encouragement that when his faith grew bigger, it would become more reliable, enabling him to fulfill his call.

Chapter 12 – Water Walkers

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Tetelestai Recovery

Yes and No

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As we leveled up in our new normal, we had to adopt the same type of mindset with our life choices as we did for driving on muddy country roads.  Our decisions and actions needed to be precisely calibrated in order to achieve the results we wanted.  Just as it would be foolish to see how close to the ditch we could drive without sliding off the road, it was also foolish to see how close we could get to temptation without giving in.  

In our leveled-up position, we learned that every action started with a choice. And every choice carried an equal and opposite result. In other words, every choice carried both a yes and a no decision.

If we said yes to sobriety, we said no to the chaos and destruction we once lived. And visa-versa.  If we said yes to a drink or drug, we said no to hope and sanity. When we said yes to thinking out our choices, we said no to making the same dumb decisions over and over, expecting different results.

To level-up, we had to accept our own responsibility for the choices and events of our lives. We had to realize that our decisions, even in little things, mattered.   Whether it was getting a good deal on a laptop we suspected was stolen, or working the system to get benefits we didn’t really qualify for, every decision set off a chain reaction of negative results and consequences.

We evaluated some of our individual experiences and shared them with the group.

One member who had been an addiction to porn, shared his decision-making process when it came to watching television.  He knew which shows would trigger lustful thoughts, so he simply chose not to watch them.  He chose instead to watch sports, cooking shows, and educational programs like Nova. He said yes to living free from his addiction which meant he said no to shows that triggered him.  Each time he made that choice, he placed himself into a position of freedom. He continues to pursue his destiny using the wisdom God has given.  He has leveled up into a mature, godly man who demonstrates great leadership skills. 

Another member of the group shared about self-esteem issues. From childhood, he had been trying to cope with the confusion of trauma, unaware of what to call it. He struggled with feelings of unworthiness and was unable to feel a sense of value.  That all changed when he made the choice to learn about trauma and its effects. He chose to develop a relationship with Jesus, his Healer.  He made a choice to forgive and move away from the pain. Because he said yes to openness, and no to suffering in silence, he now operates in a position of power and serves as an advocate for others. He has the wisdom of God and the heart of a servant.

Another member shared about his past life of uncontrollable rage.  He spoke about feeling as if he had no choice when it overtook him. His experience with rage was like driving on a slippery, muddy road at full speed, headed straight for the ditch, and unable to stop.  It was hard for us to believe he had ever struggled with rage. This was a man who carried the joy of the Lord on his face. His smile was contagious, his demeanor was gracious, and he radiated positive energy whenever he walked into the room.  He often spoke of love and forgiveness as if it were his lifeline.  He had made a conscious choice to forgive whenever he was wronged. He refused to carry a grudge, but instead, chose to walk in love. He said no to rage and yes to compassion. Forgiveness and joy were no longer second nature to him; they were his new normal.