As far back as we could remember, we felt different, damaged, and just plain wrong. We did not know exactly what was wrong with us. We only knew that we felt things more intensely than others and we processed our problems with great difficulty.
We obsessively examined ourselves, looking for clues to solve the mystery and to find a key which would unlock some invisible door into normalcy. We noticed people we admired and made feeble attempts to imitate their persona. We sought out damaged friends who would validate us in our dysfunction. We pursued money to prove our worth. We questioned and we blamed. We fought with ourselves and resented God. We learned how to act right, but we didn’t know how to feel right. Eventually it was our feelings which became our undoing.
The presence of unwanted feelings such as insecurity, inadequacy, fear, anger, and other social phobias, coupled with our inability to manage or control them, unleashed within us a desperation for relief at any cost. We soon learned of a temporary reprieve which occurred when our brain chemistry became altered. We didn’t care that the relief would be short lived or cause irreparable damage. The long-awaited relief of rightness, contrasted against the life-long agony of wrongness, offered such an enchanting embrace, we surrendered without a fight.
Based on their own personal experience, the authors openly share about their first stages of sobriety, when the clean and sober lifestyle felt awkward and overwhelming. Within the pages of this book, emotional and social dysfunctions are identified, analyzed, and resolved. Each chapter peels back a deeper layer of awareness, revealing a clear path to a New Normal where confidence and security are a way of life.
Tetelestai Recovery Volume 2: Our New Normal continues the journey of recovery, found in the words of Christ, “It is Finished.” Addiction is not a life sentence. There is hope and healing for all addicts and alcoholics, as well as for those who love them.
And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10
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This came as a shock to those of us who grew up in the psycho-babble era, where therapists were gods who slung letter-label disorders at us like lightning bolts. Most of us had been zapped by at least one label or another which altered our identity. Sadly, that movement brought such a self-defeated attitude; many of us doubted the power of the cross over our disorders.
Thankfully, after receiving the message of Christ’s finished work, we concluded that our dysfunctional labels need not remain our identity.
We claimed the powerful promise from Romans 8:37 concerning our sense of powerlessness:
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us.
We subjected our past trauma to the truth found in Romans 8:28:
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love Christ, who have been called according to His purpose.
Paul didn’t write ‘some things’ or ‘the good things’. No, he said that all things, even the least expected or most traumatic things, will work together for our good and for the Kingdom’s expansion project.
We realized that it wouldn’t benefit the Kingdom if its soldiers and ambassadors were traumatized, weak, and frail (either mentally or physically). No military unit would succeed with a platoon of disabled soldiers charging in to take a hill. Fighters in poor condition would be counter-productive to the cause. When charging into enemy territory, only the healthiest, strongest, and well-trained are called up to active duty.
Knowing that God has called us up to active duty, we also trust that He has given us health, strength, and solid training. We have discovered the spiritual law of the Kingdom where trauma turns to triumph and frailty turns to strength.
This book is dedicated to the members of Tetelestai Recovery who meet every Friday evening in the Lansing Correctional Facility.
The profound insights and personal experiences shared between inmates and volunteers in this lively discussion group have been the inspiration for this sequel to the original Tetelestai Recovery text published in 2019: Tetelestai Recovery Finding Total Recovery in the Words of Christ, “It is Finished!”
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27
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Jesus gave us this promise of peace, translated from the original word shalom, meaning: wholeness; nothing missing; nothing broken. Therefore, if we failed to experience it, we needed to know why.
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Was He a liar? Did He tease us with hope and then pull it away like Lucy holding the football in the Charlie Brown cartoon?
We developed resentment toward this Higher Power who seemingly yanked away our hope, time after time. If He controlled the universe, why didn’t He just snap His fingers and make all our misery disappear?
We questioned Him and His ways. We saw other people receive deliverance and healing from their dysfunctions and we were jealous. We finally concluded that the odds of a miracle landing on us were about the same as a rose petal falling from the sky and landing on our heads.
We knew we couldn’t raise our hopes for a miracle of our own if it was simply a cosmic lottery. We were driven to figure out what we could do to make it happen. We had been taught all our lives that a person gets what they deserve. We feared our relapses and failures had deemed us unworthy.
We knew how to work in the natural realm to get what we wanted. We worked hard. We had built personal empires and seen our own efforts succeed in other areas of life. This made it extremely difficult to understand why we couldn’t succeed in our efforts to maintain consistent sobriety.
We wanted to work for recovery and thus, control the results. We wanted to work for it, so we could own it. We wanted to know we had earned our sobriety. We wanted to receive accolades for how courageous we had been. We wanted to know it had come to us honestly, through hard work and perseverance.
Tragically, we discovered that our work just didn’t work.
Once our belief system became synchronized with the truth that Jesus could and would heal us, we declared with our Savior, “It is finished!” to skepticism. We stopped questioning our own instability and began relying on His reliability.
Liberated from the boundaries of our own powerlessness, we were finally able to explore a new realm of supernatural power. This power packed a punch and was much stronger than our addictions. It coursed through our character flaws and short-circuited our self-sabotaging configurations.
As we shared this word of deliverance with others and began hearing reports that they too experienced a power surge which supercharged their recovery, our faith was fueled. Enthusiasm for a clean and sober lifestyle grew more vibrant and robust as we watched fellow addicts enjoy the same relief we had been given. We found ourselves energized by the faith of our spiritual siblings.
We discovered strength in their faith when our own faith faltered. When our minds played tricks on us, we connected with those who would remind us:
We have the mind of Christ. I Corinthians 2:16.
When we questioned our own strength, we encouraged one another with:
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Sadly, we encountered some well-meaning fellow addicts who remained skeptical. They discounted the mindset of healing and deliverance, choosing rather to focus on the power of a progressive disease. The cynics lamented their plight and moaned about their dysfunctions. They were unwilling to grasp the concept of total recovery and argued vehemently, ‘Once an addict, always an addict!” They cautioned us not to tempt fate by using such words as healed or delivered, for it might cause us to lose our resolve and fall helplessly into the abyss of relapse. We were solemnly reminded to continue calling ourselves addicts and alcoholics lest we forget and slip.
We found that these words of unbelief were inadvertently creating a cycle of cynicism which had the potential to rob us of the Word we had begun to believe. We struggled to find clarity and prayed for guidance. We turned to the sacred text gospel stories of Jesus healing the blind, the deaf, and the lame. We noticed these individuals no longer called themselves blind, deaf, or lame after their healing was received. They ran, danced, and praised God. Their healing which was very, very real was also very, very permanent.
However, we had to presume the blind man didn’t stare at the sun just to test the limits of his miraculous eyesight. We read that the crippled man, who heard the word of Jesus and was suddenly able to walk, jumped up. He obviously wouldn’t have chosen to remain on his sickbed, allowing his strengthened muscles to atrophy once again. Quite to the contrary, a person receiving miraculous healing would cherish, protect, and enjoy their newfound wholeness more purposefully than one who had never known a disability.
With this same mindset, we dared not cross the line into recreational drug use or social drinking, as this would be an unconscionable discredit to our healing and deliverance. Our permanent sobriety was a gift of great value. We treasured it as such.
We did not sever friendships or burn bridges. These skeptics were people we loved and valued. We had spent time with them on a regular basis and held deep respect for their journey. We did not disconnect our admiration or loyalty toward them.We simply stopped internalizing their words of skepticism. We chose rather to absorb the words of Christ and other faith-filled believers who would help us maintain the supercharged energy which was vital to powering through those beginning stages of total recovery.
Tetelestai Recovery – Chapter Five – Disconnect From the Skeptics
The upside-down declarations of a fallen world rang out loud and clear:
Trauma causes permanent damage.
Don’t get your hopes up or you will be disappointed.
Nothing gets better; everything is getting worse.
Life will kick you down.
You are growing more weak, frail, and overwhelmed.
The world’s message was abrupt and hopeless: The end result of life is death.
The inauguration of triumph within Christ’s victory cheer, “Tetelestai!” turned these statements right side up. Much like the development of a photograph from negative filmstrip, black became white, white became black, and color emerged, as the world was submerged in the bright red solution of Jesus’ blood.
The law was fulfilled, the curtain was torn, and the New Covenant eliminated the curse, opening the floodgates of blessing for all. The responsibility of the covenant rested solely on the finished work of Jesus. No more sacrifice could outperform the one which announced, “It is finished!” His declaration broke the curse and banished the old covenant of law. Blessings became contingent on Christ’s obedience rather than our own. We found within that realm of grace, the script was flipped, and hope was born.
For forty years, from the time Peter watched his Savior and friend leave this world, airlifted by a fanfare of angels, he had been on a journey of enlightenment. He had become painfully aware of just how upside-down this natural world really was. He had learned, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to walk in a supernatural existence, free from natural limitations. He personally encountered events in which prison led to freedom, death led to life, and sickness led to health. An angel had walked him out of a maximum-security prison. People were raised from the dead on his watch. Some were healed when his shadow passed over them. When Jesus told Peter he would be doing greater miracles that the ones he had seen his Teacher do, He wasn’t exaggerating!
Peter recognized this world for what it was: an upside-down creation waiting to be turned right-side-up. Peter walked upright for many years, against the grain, in an upside-down world where most people just didn’t get it.
We wondered if Peter realized the significance of his choice to die upside-down. From that perspective, looking out on his crowd of accusers, who appeared to be hanging by their feet to a dusty sky, he was given a glimpse of how distorted one’s viewpoint could be, when looking at things upside-down.
When Jesus was spotted by His friends, coming toward the boat, they first thought He was a ghost. He knew what they were thinking. Although they should have been relieved to see Him, they were, in fact, terrified instead. He saw the horror in their eyes and realized they weren’t recognizing Him for who He was.
We recall times when we were unaware that Jesus was approaching, and we became frightened by our own misperceptions. We saw death approaching, but in the end, it proved to be the Author of Life. The disciples thought they were seeing a ghost. And much like those young men, we too become afraid of what He represents. Some fear He will leave them. Others fear He will prohibit their self-expression. Some fear He will demand too much or create too much controversy. Many of us encountered a fear of Jesus, not fully understanding who He was or why He’d come.
Jesus comes to us in different forms. Sometimes He comes in the supernatural realm as an unmistakable tingle of the Great Spirit. Other times He approaches through the Presence of other addicts and inmates whom we fondly refer to as our cell-siblings. Addiction, incarceration, disease, and anxiety were some of the worst storms in our lives, and we were sure some of these issues would be the death of us. Yet, in the midst of these storms, Jesus appeared and offered the opportunity to take a leap of faith and join Him in the supernatural.
In the Sacred Text account, one of the men in the boat, named Peter, asked Jesus to let him come out and walk on the water alongside Him. Jesus of course said, “Sure! Come on out. The water’s fine.” Peter lunged toward the side of the boat as it was rocking and lurching, climbed cautiously over the edge, and slowly lowered his weight onto the swirling liquid. If Jesus was a fraud, the next few seconds would have been the moment of truth. In former miracles, the people who were healed and delivered could have been in cahoots with Him on some elaborate hoax. However, walking on top of water, and inviting another human being to join Him would have been impossible to pull off, had it been a ruse.
The interesting part of this story is when it is taught as an object lesson in some churches, the point always seems to hover over the fact that for a split-second Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink below the surface of the waves. Many preachers belabor the point that Peter lacked faith. We disagree!
There were 11 other men in the boat who didn’t even ask if they could come out onto the water. Peter had faith! Whether he was completely successful in his faith walk or not, he was the only one with the intuition to ask if he could get out of the boat. He was the one who believed in Jesus’ ability to empower him to do it. He knew that in the midst of the storm, the safest place to be was with Jesus. In that moment of clarity, Peter suddenly received a divine revelation. Through this text, we receive the same revelation in our storms. We need not remain powerless and desperate. We are called to function alongside our King, even when natural laws dictate otherwise. Believers can overpower the Natural with the Supernatural.
The power in the spirit realm is faith, and Peter’s faith was increasing exponentially with every risk. His faith account was small, but it was growing. When Jesus asked him “Oh you have such little faith, why did you doubt me?” He was simply letting Peter know that as his faith increased, so would his ability to maintain his position of power in the Spirit realm. Pointing out that Peter had ‘little’ faith was not a reprimand but rather, an encouragement that when his faith grew bigger, it would become more reliable, enabling him to fulfill his call.
This is a word created universe, and we have been given the authority of Christ to create our world with His words. What we believe, we speak, and the manifestation takes place.
Sometimes it is instantaneous, like a light switch. Other times it is a gradual process, like a dimmer switch.
We saw in the passage in Mark 11 that the tree took some time to die. Therefore, we were faced with the challenge to first believe, then speak, and then wait. We noticed that Jesus didn’t stand there waiting for the tree to die. He went on about His business and allowed His words to do the work.
In the same mindset, we learned it was best not to examine our progress, but only to believe and continue on our path. Days, months, and even years later, when encountering humiliating experiences, or running into old acquaintances, we were surprised to see that our emotional responses were no longer rooted in shame, but rather in strength. We found those mountains which loomed in our future had disappeared and our paths were leveled.
As we learned about words creating the world we desire, we understood that our words could destroy our root of shame. Once the root was dead, no one else, including ourselves, would be subjected to the fruit that grew from it.
Those mountains which needed to move would not be moved by exertion or self-effort. We could not uproot our shame any more than we could move a mountain. Both were subject to the same force, the spoken word. Knowing that the only energy that travels from the natural realm to the spiritual realm are our words, we speak to our shame and command it to bear no fruit. We speak to our mountains, and they disappear into the sea.
We declared the words of Jesus, “It is finished!” to our roots of shame and our mountain of amends.
As our mountains dropped into the sea, a tsunami of opportunities flooded into our lives. Wave upon wave of amazing possibilities washed over us.
As we leveled up in our new normal, we had to adopt the same type of mindset with our life choices as we did for driving on muddy country roads. Our decisions and actions needed to be precisely calibrated in order to achieve the results we wanted. Just as it would be foolish to see how close to the ditch we could drive without sliding off the road, it was also foolish to see how close we could get to temptation without giving in.
In our leveled-up position, we learned that every action started with a choice. And every choice carried an equal and opposite result. In other words, every choice carried both a yes and a no decision.
If we said yes to sobriety, we said no to the chaos and destruction we once lived. And visa-versa. If we said yes to a drink or drug, we said no to hope and sanity. When we said yes to thinking out our choices, we said no to making the same dumb decisions over and over, expecting different results.
To level-up, we had to accept our own responsibility for the choices and events of our lives. We had to realize that our decisions, even in little things, mattered. Whether it was getting a good deal on a laptop we suspected was stolen, or working the system to get benefits we didn’t really qualify for, every decision set off a chain reaction of negative results and consequences.
We evaluated some of our individual experiences and shared them with the group.
One member who had been an addiction to porn, shared his decision-making process when it came to watching television. He knew which shows would trigger lustful thoughts, so he simply chose not to watch them. He chose instead to watch sports, cooking shows, and educational programs like Nova. He said yes to living free from his addiction which meant he said no to shows that triggered him. Each time he made that choice, he placed himself into a position of freedom. He continues to pursue his destiny using the wisdom God has given. He has leveled up into a mature, godly man who demonstrates great leadership skills.
Another member of the group shared about self-esteem issues. From childhood, he had been trying to cope with the confusion of trauma, unaware of what to call it. He struggled with feelings of unworthiness and was unable to feel a sense of value. That all changed when he made the choice to learn about trauma and its effects. He chose to develop a relationship with Jesus, his Healer. He made a choice to forgive and move away from the pain. Because he said yes to openness, and no to suffering in silence, he now operates in a position of power and serves as an advocate for others. He has the wisdom of God and the heart of a servant.
Another member shared about his past life of uncontrollable rage. He spoke about feeling as if he had no choice when it overtook him. His experience with rage was like driving on a slippery, muddy road at full speed, headed straight for the ditch, and unable to stop. It was hard for us to believe he had ever struggled with rage. This was a man who carried the joy of the Lord on his face. His smile was contagious, his demeanor was gracious, and he radiated positive energy whenever he walked into the room. He often spoke of love and forgiveness as if it were his lifeline. He had made a conscious choice to forgive whenever he was wronged. He refused to carry a grudge, but instead, chose to walk in love. He said no to rage and yes to compassion. Forgiveness and joy were no longer second nature to him; they were his new normal.
Finding Total Recovery in the Words of Christ, "It is Finished!" 