Tag: Healing

Tetelestai Recovery

You Get to Choose

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As hard as it is for us to believe, we have more power over our thoughts than we ever imagined. We find it is perfectly fine to set a negative thought down. We don’t need to lug it around with us until we make sense of it. We aren’t required to analyze and over-think, searching for some secret solution hiding inside our rapid-fire scatter thoughts. We can just let go and let God.

Unhealthy thoughts are just that. Unhealthy. They can never help us level up. If a thought is not healthy, we can set it down and choose a healthier topic.

As it turns out, our thoughts are a lot like books in a library. If we happen to pick one out that isn’t good, we can just put it back and choose a better one. Using the criteria listed in Philippians 4, while paying particular attention to the instructions following the word finally in verse 8, we can select our thoughts with intention and precision. We don’t need to be saddled with thoughts that hold us down and hold us back.

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Chapter 9, Hold That Thought

Tetelestai Recovery

Guardrails

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When comparing our cognitive distortions against the eight descriptive words in Philippians 4:8, we find a way out. With these eight guardrails in place, we can choose which thoughts to keep and which ones to set aside.

Pure

Right

Excellent

Praiseworthy

Lovely

Admirable

Noble

True

Using the acronym, PREPLANT, we can check ourselves regularly throughout the day to make sure the thoughts running through our heads line up with at least one on the list.

If a thought does not meet the criteria, it is deemed unhealthy and carries the potential to make us sick. We cannot level up until we let go of the thoughts that don’t measure up.

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Chapter 9, Hold That Thought

Tetelestai Recovery

Keeping it Real

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One member of the group shared about self-esteem issues that led him into criminal behavior and addiction. From childhood, he had been trying to cope with the confusion of trauma, unaware of what to call it. He struggled with feelings of unworthiness and was unable to feel a sense of value. That all changed when he made the choice to learn about trauma and its effects. He chose to develop a relationship with Jesus, his Healer. He made a choice to forgive and move away from the pain.

Because he says yes to openness, and no to suffering in silence, he now operates in a position of influence and serves as an advocate for others. He has the wisdom of God and the heart of a servant.

Another member shared about his past life of uncontrollable rage that resulted in murder. He spoke about feeling as if he had no choice when it overtook him. His experience with rage was like driving on a slippery, muddy road at full speed, headed straight for the ditch, and unable to stop.

It was hard for us to believe he had ever struggled with rage. This is a man who carries the joy of the Lord on his face. His smile is contagious, his demeanor is humble, and he radiates positive energy whenever he walks into the room. He often speaks of love and forgiveness as if it is his lifeline. He makes a conscious decision to forgive whenever he is wronged. He refuses to carry a grudge, but instead, chooses to walk in love. He says no to rage and yes to compassion. Forgiveness and joy are no longer second nature to him; they are his new normal.

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A Date With Destiny

Praise

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You should praise him. He is your God. He has done great and wonderful things for you. You have seen them with your own eyes. Deuteronomy 10:21

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You have been called by God and down deep, you have always known it.

Your destiny will involve many different seasons. It will take on a variety of forms as you move through your allotted time on this planet.

Embedded in the foundation of your spiritual core is an interlocking system consisting of a perfect blend of praise and gratitude.

You are grateful for the peace that replaces discord in your thoughts. You remain ever mindful that gratitude and praise are powerful deterrents to discontentment.

Your gratitude for the things God has done for you is revealed by the enthusiastic way you talk about Him.

You love to get together with friends and family who have this same sense of appreciation for the work of God in their own lives as well.

You love to share stories of miracles and mercy. You openly tell of the times that God has showered you with comfort and compassion during times of great difficulty.

You also enjoy hearing others talk about what God is doing in their lives. You adore being surrounded by people who openly express their gratitude for the blessings of God. On the other hand, you find it tedious and exhausting to be around complainers. You know that a very high level of toxicity is contained within a complaint so you combat its effects with the purposeful practice of praise.

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A Date With Destiny

Spokesperson

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Matthew 10:20

It will not really be you speaking. The Spirit of God will be speaking through you.

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You are called to be the voice of Christ to some of God’s lost children who don’t seem to be able to hear Him for themselves. When you speak of God’s love and forgiveness, it is the Spirit of God speaking through you, infusing the atmosphere with hope and life.

There are specific souls you will be drawn to. This is a nudge from the Holy Spirit.

Due to your own life experiences and unique character qualities, the connections you make with those who are struggling will prove to alter their lives as well as your own.  You will be the one to help them find their way to the Father, and thus, find their way home.

As a representative of redemption, you find that the chosen ones are typically the most broken ones.

Your ability to connect with  troubled people in a non-judgmental approach makes you the ideal candidate to bring God’s message to those who cannot hear His voice for themselves.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Testing Time

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When caught up in a moment of testing, we must resist letting our feelings and circumstances serve as a litmus test of our faith. It is not healthy, nor is it accurate.

Tests are for the express purpose of developing patience. Whether the tests come from internal or external forces, they have a purpose. Some of the tests we face are due to our own weaknesses and might easily become our demise, but even then, God always has a better plan. Any test that activates patience is beneficial. Guilt and blame serve no purpose.

Patience tells us that tests are only temporary. Patience tells us that God is doing a good work in us, and He will complete it. Patience tells us not to judge our walk by one random stumble. Patience keeps us steady as we wait for the storm to pass.

It is patience that we lack when we throw up our hands and give up. It is patience that we lack when we question our progress. It is patience that will get us to the finish line. It is patience that will help us be gentle with ourselves.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Good Intentions

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We often have the best of intentions to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally. But our plans can quickly get lost in a swirling sea of resentment, when we suspect our kindness has been mistaken for weakness. We recoil whenever we give an inch only to be met with demands for a mile.

When we pull away from relationships because the emotional cost is too great, we feel like a bad person. We want to follow the leadership of Jesus. We want to be the kind of person who turns the other cheek and goes the extra mile. But being that person takes its toll on our sense of well-being. Our trust turns into suspicion. Our self-sacrifice turns into self-defense and self-preservation. We become discouraged and frustrated. Our personal investments don’t always pay off and it seems pointless to throw any more emotional currency toward relationships that are bankrupting us.

With our emotional center depleted, it is easy to just shut down and go dark. For some of us, the darkness is called depression, and we struggle with thoughts of self-harm. For some of us, the darkness is shoved aside with distractions. We bury ourselves in work, entertainment, shopping, or anything else that will keep us from dealing with our unmet emotional needs.

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Tetelestai Recovery

The Two Big Lies

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Our minds were filled with fear, but the fears were not always clearly defined. So, we examined our fears more closely and realized they were rooted in two basic lies.

1. We Were Not Enough

    We feared that we weren’t smart or capable enough to maintain our place on this planet. We feared we would not be able to make good enough plans and follow through on them. We feared we would not be able to earn enough money to pay the bills. We feared we could not meet the expectations others had for us, or those we had for ourselves.

    We feared that our ‘not-enough-ness’ would be discovered and we would be humiliated. We feared social settings because we were not interesting enough. We feared being forgotten because we just weren’t very remarkable. We feared being abandoned because we just didn’t bring enough to the table.

    We feared that we were ill-equipped and woefully inadequate to handle the overwhelming responsibility of life on this planet.

    2. We were too much.

      We feared that we were too much trouble and not worth the effort. We feared that we were too boring, too impatient, too greedy, too lustful, too resentful, or too lazy.

      We feared that we were too insistent on getting our own way. We feared that our sense of entitlement and list of demands were turning us into tyrants.

      We feared being alone because sometimes we were too much, even for ourselves.

      Chapter 5 – The Fear Factor

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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Unmet Needs

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      These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.

      We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault.

      To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us. We must admit, we are foolish to think they won’t. They are human too!

       From this new perspective, we begin to see Philippians 4:19 much differently. God promises to meet all our needs. Not just physical and spiritual, but emotional as well. So, we must now ask ourselves, “What are some of my emotional needs?”

      • The need to be needed.
      • The need to be loved.
      • The need for relationships.
      • The need for encouragement.
      • The need to love without fear.
      • The need to be significant.
      • The need to be useful.
      • The need to be content.
      • The need to feel worthy.
      • The need to have a sense of purpose.
      • The need to have a sense of direction.
      • The need for boundaries.
      • The need for security.
      • The need for approval.
      • The need for respect.
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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Stop the Madness

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      After escaping Crazytown, David finds a cave to hide in, alone (1 Samuel 22). It is a safe place, where he no longer has to answer difficult questions or pretend to be someone he is not. However, his alone time to power down and reboot doesn’t last long. Members of his family hear of his whereabouts and come to join him.

      We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

      It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

      Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

      Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code.

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      Eventually, David enlists the help of a neighboring king to look after his family so he can heal. We can’t help but notice that this sounds an awful lot like an Al-Anon topic. Family members can be part of the recovery process, but it is not appropriate to become cave dwellers too, just to show their support.

      Chapter Seven – Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y