Tag: Healing

Tetelestai Recovery

The Two Big Lies

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Our minds were filled with fear, but the fears were not always clearly defined. So, we examined our fears more closely and realized they were rooted in two basic lies.

1. We Were Not Enough

    We feared that we weren’t smart or capable enough to maintain our place on this planet. We feared we would not be able to make good enough plans and follow through on them. We feared we would not be able to earn enough money to pay the bills. We feared we could not meet the expectations others had for us, or those we had for ourselves.

    We feared that our ‘not-enough-ness’ would be discovered and we would be humiliated. We feared social settings because we were not interesting enough. We feared being forgotten because we just weren’t very remarkable. We feared being abandoned because we just didn’t bring enough to the table.

    We feared that we were ill-equipped and woefully inadequate to handle the overwhelming responsibility of life on this planet.

    2. We were too much.

      We feared that we were too much trouble and not worth the effort. We feared that we were too boring, too impatient, too greedy, too lustful, too resentful, or too lazy.

      We feared that we were too insistent on getting our own way. We feared that our sense of entitlement and list of demands were turning us into tyrants.

      We feared being alone because sometimes we were too much, even for ourselves.

      Chapter 5 – The Fear Factor

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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Unmet Needs

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      These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up.

      We must accept the fact that no human being is equipped to completely fulfill another human being’s emotional, spiritual, and psychological needs. It is just not possible. And it is not their fault.

      To level up, we must set aside our petty resentments about how others have failed us. We must admit, we are foolish to think they won’t. They are human too!

       From this new perspective, we begin to see Philippians 4:19 much differently. God promises to meet all our needs. Not just physical and spiritual, but emotional as well. So, we must now ask ourselves, “What are some of my emotional needs?”

      • The need to be needed.
      • The need to be loved.
      • The need for relationships.
      • The need for encouragement.
      • The need to love without fear.
      • The need to be significant.
      • The need to be useful.
      • The need to be content.
      • The need to feel worthy.
      • The need to have a sense of purpose.
      • The need to have a sense of direction.
      • The need for boundaries.
      • The need for security.
      • The need for approval.
      • The need for respect.
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      Tetelestai Recovery

      Stop the Madness

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      After escaping Crazytown, David finds a cave to hide in, alone (1 Samuel 22). It is a safe place, where he no longer has to answer difficult questions or pretend to be someone he is not. However, his alone time to power down and reboot doesn’t last long. Members of his family hear of his whereabouts and come to join him.

      We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

      It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

      Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

      Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code.

      _________________

      Eventually, David enlists the help of a neighboring king to look after his family so he can heal. We can’t help but notice that this sounds an awful lot like an Al-Anon topic. Family members can be part of the recovery process, but it is not appropriate to become cave dwellers too, just to show their support.

      Chapter Seven – Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave

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      In 1 Samuel 22, we read about David, the would-be king who is making decisions clouded by dysfunction. The story begins with rejection, danger, and drama. David is at risk. He has experienced trauma. He is out of his element, all alone, and without clear direction. His life has come down to a series of geographical moves and his only reason is simple, “I am here because it was not safe there.”

      These words ring true for us as well. We have experienced trauma. In response, we run, we tell lies, we act crazy, and in the end, we finally find a cave where we can hide.

      We enter our caves carrying something that makes us feel fierce. We carry memories of times when we weren’t so weak. Despite our insecurities and weakness, we also know there is resilience, tenacity, and charisma woven into our DNA by the Creator of the Universe.

      In David’s story, he had the sword of Goliath strapped to his side, reminding him of his greatest victory. But, later, after experiencing his own trauma, it seemed his glory days were over. He is hiding in a cave which he refers to as his stronghold. Battling anxiety, depression, and loss, the cave becomes a makeshift fort for David and his absent army. Bringing an abrupt end to his promising career, his entire future has been destroyed by one man. The grief was too much to bear.

      The man who once killed a giant with a rock, got hit between the eyes with trauma and it took him to a dark place. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the same. He is alone. He is unprepared. He is in self-defense mode, and his behavior becomes irrational and unpredictable.

      We too have experienced moments of trauma, laying the groundwork for our current dysfunctions. Whether we can remember them or not, each of us has heard, seen, or experienced things that made us feel unsafe, forcing us into unhealthy coping patterns. For some, the trauma was a single event, such as an accident, an illness, or a loss. For others, the trauma came gradually in waves, due to chronic pain, devastating disappointments, years of neglect, indifference, or abuse from a parent or spouse, or the emotional baggage of living in a deeply dysfunctional environment.

      Chapter 7, Don’t Get Too Cozy In Your Cave https://a.co/d/gU3iw9Y

      Tetelestai Recovery

      On A Mission

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      Knowing that God speaks to His children in all sorts of unique ways, we suddenly recognized His voice speaking to us from the creativity of writers and actors on our television screen. We identified with the heroes. We saw ourselves playing the role assigned to us by the God of the Galaxies. We became aware in a way unlike ever before that we were on a mission which would influence millions, change the course of history, and create spiritual wavelengths which would echo into the centuries to come.

      Excited by the prospect of finding our true purpose, we searched for clues. We prayed for wisdom and guidance. We searched the sacred text of our Bibles and studied the writings of many and watched for attributes to immerge which would reveal our divine destiny. We took personality and spiritual gift tests to narrow the scope. Eventually, we had enough clues to piece the puzzle together, and our spirits soared with great enthusiasm. We looked back over our life and realized that the destiny had been there all along and every step of the journey was preparation for the main event.

      But still we questioned whether we could actually fulfill our mission. We knew our impulsive nature had caused us to make some terribly bad choices in the past, so we wondered if this was God’s call or just a delusion of grandeur. The thought of God calling us to something of eternal magnitude seemed a little ridiculous and really crazy.

      We had to question whether our passionate reaction to the prospect of hearing this divine call was our love for Him or our own search for significance?  Maybe it was both. And maybe that was okay.

      Was it presumptuous to think that the God of the Universe had hand selected us to do something special for Him?

      • Was it ego…or was it faith?
      • Would we really be able to participate in bringing the Kingdom to earth?
      • Were we truly able to alter the course of history?

      Our skeptical voices questioned, “Why would God call me?”

      Our awakened spirits responded, “Why not me?”

      Chapter 13, The Next Right Thing https://a.co/d/i0rjHBr

      Tetelestai Recovery

      The Next Right Thing

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      If we were to replicate an artistic masterpiece, for example, Michelangelo’s sculpture David where would we begin? A block of granite would be a good start, but after that, what next? A chisel in one hand and a hammer in the other, then tap, tap, tap away. It seems there should be no concern over the shape of the nose until the face has begun to take form. An artist would not frustrate himself over an earlobe’s curve if the nape of the neck has yet to be established.

      It is one thing for a sculptor to envision his finished project. It is quite another thing, to plan for every tap, every move, and every chip. The first is art. The latter is insanity.

      And so, we were given only one instruction at a time. God didn’t show us how to take the next 53 steps of our journey. He simply showed us one first, and then the next, and the next, and the next. He knew that we had a tendency to run out ahead of Him and wander off. Therefore, He gently kept us at His side, giving us only one instruction at a time. He knew that one simple stumble could place us into the path of the enemy, so His hand held us close. To counteract the enemy’s offensive moves, His plan had to remain flexible and changeable. Therefore, if He gave us the entire game plan, we might have run ahead and walked into a trap or missed His unexpected strategic maneuvers.

      Therefore, we encouraged ourselves and each other with the simple mantra: Do the next right thing. That’s it, that’s all. God never asks us to make a five-year plan, complete with bar graphs and pie charts. He merely asks us to place one foot in front of the other, holding tight to His hand.

      One step at a time, taking care not to run ahead, we found that God’s direction for us wasn’t always religious in nature, nor did every event seem extraordinarily significant. But as our journey continued, we realized that each right thing led us to the next right thing. And in this realm of just one thing, the next right thing, we found balance in our walk and harmony with ourselves.

      Chapter 13, The Next Right Thing https://a.co/d/deLSbDM

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Full Coverage

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      Forgiveness doesn’t mean we are required to sustain the damage done to us. Nor does it mean we must act like it never happened and open ourselves up to additional injury. Forgiveness means we invoke the rights of our Divine Insurance Policy and submit our claims to the God of Angel Armies.

      Full coverage guarantees a 4-R response. God promises to: Reimburse us for our loss; Repair our damage; and Restore our dignity. The 4th R is Revenge for our assailants, which God promises to dole out in justice, provided we not try to attempt it ourselves.

      We want proof that God will extract payment from those who damage us. We find our answer in both the Old and New Testaments:

      “I will return on your own heads what you have done.” The Lord has spoken. Joel 3:7

      They will be paid back for the harm they have done. 1 Peter 2:13

      We learn that we need not exhaust ourselves with horizontal efforts to recover our losses by extracting payments from those who owe us more than they could ever repay, even if they wanted to. We simply submit our claims to God and wait for His reimbursement. We can finally relax and forgive as we let go and let God. It’s a vertical issue!

      Tetelestai Recovery 2: Our New Normal; Chapter 7, Keeping it Vertical https://a.co/d/hZqCsPe

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Hard to Believe

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      “Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

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      My purpose on this planet is not just to stay clean and sober. My purpose is to discover my divine destiny while helping others discover theirs. It is my mission to join forces with the Creator of the Universe in order to bring heaven to earth. I am alive today so that I can tell everyone who suffers from the disease of addiction: there is hope, there is healing, and there is freedom. The supernatural power of Jesus is for you, your family, and your future.

      During the times when dark forces are taking their best shot, making your situation look hopeless, you can safely conclude that Jesus is on the scene and the enemy has just been served notice of eviction.

      Maintain your conversation with Jesus, and never let your gaze drift to the raging symptoms. If you find it hard to believe, that’s okay. Faith will come. Simply pray the breakthrough prayer:

      “Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!”

      Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is finished; Chapter 14, The Breakthrough Prayer https://a.co/d/jdfppvK

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Lori’s Story

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      I was plagued by the demon of addiction. It made do and say crazy things. I hurt those I loved. Addiction made me depressed, unreliable, and unreasonable. I now know that the demon of addiction is a shapeshifter and never wants to be exposed for its true identity. My opioid prescriptions were as addictive as any street drug, if not more so. Still, I considered myself immune to the label addict, preferring to call my drug of choice, medication.

      Pain pills after a back injury made me feel the way I’d always wanted to feel. The opioids triggered a reaction in my brain and slowly, like a dimmer switch, my mind lost its luster. I failed to recognize how lifeless and dull it had become as I moved through my days in a flurry of activity, struggling to prove that I was not the person I had become. I became disoriented in the darkness for many years, and I lost all hope that it might be possible to get free. I believed my pain would be unbearable if I ever stopped taking the pills. It was a deceitful lie straight from the pit and one that wreaked havoc on everything and everyone in my path.

      I needed help. I needed hope. I needed healing and deliverance from a dark captor who refused to release me. I needed someone to stand in the gap and believe for me, because I had lost even a spark of faith to believe for myself.

      Through a catastrophic chain of events, in the very lowest point of my life, I met some brave believers who stood in the gap for me with their own faith; just like the father did for his son in Mark 9:18-27. Any flicker of faith I may have possessed before that time had been snuffed out and I was lost in the darkness. These kind souls came to me in my despair and showed me the light of Christ’s love. From the illumination of their light, I began to see Jesus in a way I had never seen before. He appeared as my healer, my deliverer, and most importantly, my rescuer. He accepted me in my fallen position and still loved me, despite who I had become.

      Tetelestai Recovery 1: It is Finished, Chapter 14 The Breakthrough https://a.co/d/gqrG8QF

      Tetelestai Recovery

      Wall Facers

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      In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

      Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, “Remember Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

      Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: ‘I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you’”. Isaiah 38:1-5

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      Although the word had come to him from God through the prophet, King Hezekiah did not resign himself to this fate. He turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord. He did not accept a decree from the Lord as unchangeable.

      We learned that God doesn’t expect us to just wring our hands and sigh when things aren’t working out. He wants us to speak words of faith and collaborate with Him on a solution. We aren’t required to accept our lot in life and mutter in defeat, “Well, I guess it just isn’t God’s will.”

      Instead, He wants us to become a wall facer, praying with determination to negotiate a plan with Him. God is waiting for us to offer some pushback and reason it out with Him. 

      “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. Isaiah 1:18

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      In our New Normal, we are NOT called to be weak and helpless. God is NOT glorified when we hang our heads and shrug off our troubled marriages, our lost children, or our criminal records. Since we are told in the book of Hebrews to come boldly to the throne of Grace where we can find mercy and help, we present our case, and ask for a ruling from the Judge in our favor.

      Tetelestai Recovery 2: Our New Normal https://a.co/d/akjwVNj