Tag: Depression

Tetelestai Recovery

Understanding Unmet Emotional Needs: A Spiritual Approach

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Considering this list of our emotional needs, we realize how unfair it would be to expect another human to meet them. We think about all the times that we scroll through texts on our phones, looking for reassurance that we are worthy, needed, loved, approved, or any number of the other emotional needs we have at the time.

Ironically, it seems a bit ridiculous that we place more hope in a text on our phone than in Sacred Text filled with the love of God. One connects us to other flawed humans; the other connects us to the Creator of the Universe who loves us dearly. 

As we evaluate our unmet emotional needs and identify the ones which cause us the most pain, we ask the Holy Spirit to guide us to our truth.

  • Have you ever been pressured to meet someone else’s emotional needs? How did that make you feel? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  • Have you ever pressured someone else to meet your emotional needs? How did that work out?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  • Name some specific emotional needs you have. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  • What are some scriptures you can claim over them?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Excerpt from: Tetelestai Recovery 3 – Leveling Up; Chapter 2: No Need

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Tetelestai Recovery

Understanding Emotional Needs: A Path to Healing

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When we pull away from relationships because the emotional cost is too great, we feel like a bad person. We want to follow the leadership of Jesus. We want to be the kind of person who turns the other cheek and goes the extra mile. But being that person takes its toll on our sense of well-being. Our trust turns into suspicion. Our self-sacrifice turns into self-defense and self-preservation. We become discouraged and frustrated. Our personal investments don’t always pay off and it seems pointless to throw any more emotional currency toward relationships that are bankrupting us.

With our emotional center depleted, it is easy to just shut down and go dark. For some of us, the darkness is called depression, and we struggle with thoughts of self-harm. For some of us, the darkness is shoved aside with distractions. We bury ourselves in work, entertainment, shopping, or anything else that will keep us from dealing with our unmet emotional needs.

These needs keep us running from one relationship to another; one career path to another; one church to another; one substance to another. We play the blame game, accusing our parents, our partners, or our culture. We know we have unmet emotional needs, so we are naturally drawn toward people and situations that promise to meet them. Of course, it is only a matter of time before they fail us. No human can fully meet our deep emotional needs. It is a painful lesson we have to learn time and time again, until we begin to understand what it means to level up…

Excerpt from Tetelestai Recovery 3 – Leveling Up; Chapter 2: No Need

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The Power of Gratitude in All Circumstances

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In Thessalonians 5:18, we are instructed to give thanks in all circumstances because this is the will of God for us.

The writer is not saying that we should thank God FOR everything, but IN everything. Evil does not come from God, so we don’t thank Him for that, but we can thank Him for His presence during that evil, AND for the GOOD He will accomplish through the distress.

In other words, our attitude of gratitude must not be dependent on our circumstances or feelings, but rather on the confidence that God is making all things work together for good.

Remaining thankful in all circumstances places us at the center of God’s will. It creates a spiritual atmosphere that is welcoming to His Presence. Gratitude invites the power of God to alter our perspectives and halt the trajectory of our spiraling thoughts.

You inhabit the praises of your people. Psalm 22:3

Tetelestai Recovery

You Get to Choose

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As hard as it is for us to believe, we have more power over our thoughts than we ever imagined. We find it is perfectly fine to set a negative thought down. We don’t need to lug it around with us until we make sense of it. We aren’t required to analyze and over-think, searching for some secret solution hiding inside our rapid-fire scatter thoughts. We can just let go and let God.

Unhealthy thoughts are just that. Unhealthy. They can never help us level up. If a thought is not healthy, we can set it down and choose a healthier topic.

As it turns out, our thoughts are a lot like books in a library. If we happen to pick one out that isn’t good, we can just put it back and choose a better one. Using the criteria listed in Philippians 4, while paying particular attention to the instructions following the word finally in verse 8, we can select our thoughts with intention and precision. We don’t need to be saddled with thoughts that hold us down and hold us back.

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Chapter 9, Hold That Thought

Tetelestai Recovery

Guilt and Remorse

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When our dark thoughts are triggered, feelings of regret and shame make us cringe. We respond by gathering up our baggage and taking a trip down memory lane. We wrestle with our past and try to rewrite the narrative. We justify, rationalize, and analyze. We surrender to the downward spiral and wonder why we ever believed we could outrun our demons.

After sliding into the abyss of our never-ending regrets, our insides feel hollow, and we become hopelessly despondent. The weight of remorse becomes too heavy to carry. We wonder how we can ever rise above this base line of our worst selves.

These thoughts can snowball and take us under for days. The avalanche of our wrongness buries us in a cold dark tomb of guilt. We are irritable, depressed, angry, and nauseous. We lack motivation and have no sense of purpose. It seems God is so far away, and it is pointless to pray.

To level up, we must develop healthy thought patterns and discipline our minds to stay on a positive track. We can no longer allow our thoughts to wander aimlessly through the minefield of our worst imaginations. We must carve new pathways for our thoughts to travel. We need to keep our thoughts on the high road and pump the brakes when we are headed for the ditch. But how?

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…Chapter 9: Hold That Thought