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Tetelestai Recovery

Jesus’ Compassion: A Model for Our Needs

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We see that during His mission on earth, Jesus never scolded anyone for asking too much or too often. In fact, He stated time and time again, “Just ask. I want to give you what you need. ”

The feeding of the five thousand demonstrated the Father’s heart through the acts and attitudes of His Son. Jesus had compassion on the famished crowd. He didn’t condemn them for being distracted by their growling stomachs. He didn’t belittle them for showing signs of weakness. He didn’t minimize their hunger by comparing it to His own when He fasted for forty days. It wasn’t His desire to see them suffer to prove their devotion.

They were hungry and He wanted them to be fed. Jesus met their needs abundantly. He provided more than enough. There may have been some who gave up and left early before the miracle arrived. This may account for the enormous number of leftovers His disciples collected after everyone was fed.

We realize it is critically important that we never become one who wanders away, feeling the pressure to fend for ourselves, rather than waiting to see what Jesus is doing.

We know there will be times of waiting. And during those times, we might not have a clear view of what is happening, or how the miracle will unfold, but waiting is part of the process, and we must become willing to put in the time…

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Tetelestai Recovery

The Feeding of the Five Thousand: A Lesson in Generosity

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Picnic on wooden table with bread, fish, butter, and mug by lake at sunset with group on shore

In the multiplication miracle of feeding the five thousand, we see that Jesus was happy to give the hungry people as much food as they wanted. They ate until they were satisfied, and there was plenty left over.

By this example, we can rest assured that Jesus is pleased when He is given the opportunity to be generous. He is not stingy or miserly when it comes to providing the necessities of life. He will not withhold the resources needed to fulfill our destinies. We know that He wants us to have everything we need to successfully complete our human journey. However, there are times we may feel uncomfortable asking, for fear our requests might be based upon selfish motives.

As we level up, we learn this is a needless fear. God is a loving Father. He will not give us something that is bad for us. We think back to the days when our children were young, and they asked for candy when it was time for dinner. We didn’t judge or condemn them. We simply said, “No. That’s not good for you,” and then provided them with a healthy option instead. We know that God will do the same for us. He won’t give us anything that will do harm. We trust Him to protect us; sometimes even from ourselves.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Transform Anxiety into Positive Energy: Steps from Philippians 4:4-7

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“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

  1. We rejoice in the Lord all the time, no matter how we feel.
  2. We are gentle and let it show, even when our kindness may be mistaken for weakness.
  3. We make specific requests to God in every situation, remaining thankful for His interest in our personal concerns.

These instructions promise peace beyond human understanding, and we have no reason to question their validity. God tells us we can Level Up by practicing these three principles so who are we to doubt it?

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Tetelestai Recovery

Break Free from Dark Thought Cycles

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The trajectory of our future is altered by our thoughts when we base them on the perceived realities that swirl around in our brains unchecked. We may hate our pessimism and suspicion, but we can’t break out of the cycle. We may despise our long dreary days of dark thought spirals, but we can’t seem to stop them once they start.

We think about what people were saying about us behind our backs. We wonder if they really wish we weren’t around. We suspect we are going to be fired, dumped, rejected, or abandoned. We replay old conversations, trying to read between the lines so we can better prepare for a number of worst-case scenarios that are likely to befall us.

It has been said that a coward dies a thousand times, a brave man, only once.

***********************

Our thoughts create the reality we live in, whether they align with the truth or not.

To level up, we must develop healthy thought patterns and discipline our minds to stay on a positive track. We can no longer allow our thoughts to wander aimlessly through the minefield of our worst imaginations. We must carve new pathways for our thoughts to travel. We need to keep our thoughts on the high road and pump the brakes when we are headed for the ditch.

But how?

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Tetelestai Recovery

Rerouting Your Brain: Overcoming Circular Thinking Patterns

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“Be very careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

To level up, we must evaluate the quality of our thoughts. There are established neuropathways in our brains that need to be rerouted. We do not wish to remain stuck in circular thought processes, like mental roundabouts, which have no outlet or resolution.

When suspicious thoughts come to mind, after an encounter with someone we don’t trust, we go into self-preservation mode and begin analyzing all the things they said or did that just don’t add up. We evaluate our observations to confirm our suspicions. We are angry that they think we can be so easily manipulated. We contemplate ways we can call it out and let them know we are onto them.

Our mental trails lead us into darkened paths, where we get tangled in the weeds of irritation and resentment. We are offended and angered by such a lack of respect. We vow to be more defiant and difficult, to prevent ourselves from being underestimated again.

By the time we cycle through the process described in the last two paragraphs, several hours have passed and we find ourselves in a depressive state of mind. The series of events that triggered the entire process are irrelevant. Our thoughts, fears, and imaginations merged into a twisted reality that we forced ourselves to endure.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Understanding the Power of Yes and No

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Split image showing a happy woman hiking with 'YES Paths and Possibilities' and a sad woman sitting with 'NO Hesitation and Regret'

As we level up, we begin to view every decision as both a yes and a no. Every yes carries an implied no, and every no carries an indirect yes. 

  • If we say yes to the blue shirt, we are also saying no to the red one.
  • If we say yes to a shower, we are also saying no to bad hygiene.
  • If we say yes to watching TV, we are also saying no to going outside.
  • If we say yes to healthy habits, we are saying no to junk food and laziness. We are also saying no to medical problems and poor self-image.
  • If we say yes to wasting time at work, or stealing from our employer, we are saying no to a clean conscience and integrity. As a result, we will develop resentment toward our boss to help alleviate our guilt.
  • If we say no to flirtations from a co-worker, we are saying yes to the trust and respect of our spouse.
  • If we say yes to gratitude, we are saying no to discontentment.
  • If we say yes to good manners, we are saying no to boorish behavior.

If we say yes to forgiveness, we are saying no to the weight of being easily offended, resulting in freedom and peace of mind.

 

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.  Matthew 5:37

For every yes, there is a no; and for every no, there is a yes. As we level up, we become aware of our personal guardrails and use good judgement concerning what to accept and what to reject.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Mastering Personal Growth Through Mindful Decisions

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Land Rover driving through muddy off-road trail during sunset

Just as potholes, ruts, mud, and carelessness are a bad combination when driving on muddy country roads, relationships and personal growth can also be messy, so we can’t afford to be careless with our decisions. We might not be able to control the storms of life, but we can control our focus and reaction.

When driving on a muddy road, we need to be precise in our movements, grasping the steering wheel securely, scanning the horizon, watching for standing water, and making conscious, deliberate adjustments to speed and direction. And above all else, never get too close to the edge.

As we level up in our new normal, we must adopt that same type of mindset with our life choices as we do for driving flooded roads. Our decisions and actions need to be precisely calculated to achieve the results we want. Just as it would be foolish to walk carelessly along the edge of a ravine, it is also foolish to see how close we can get to temptation without giving in.  

To level up, we must acknowledge that every action starts with a choice. And every choice carries two equal and opposite decisions. In other words, every choice carries both a yes and a no decision.

If we say yes to sobriety, we say no to chaos and destruction. And visa-versa. If we say yes to a drink or drug, we say no to hope and sanity. When we say yes to thinking about our choices, we say no to making the same dumb decisions, expecting different results.

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Tetelestai Recovery

Overcome Addiction: A Progressive Approach

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Rusty broken metal chain on an old wooden workbench

The Tetelestai Recovery Series is a collection of faith-based addiction recovery books written by Marc and Lori Ridenour. Rooted in the biblical declaration “It is finished” (John 19:30), the series offers a faith-based approach to finding lasting freedom from addiction and emotional healing. 

Available in Paperback, Kindle, and Audiobook formats.

Volume 1: Tetelestai Recovery: It is Finished
Introduces the core concepts of the series. It targets suffering addicts, chronic relapsers, and their loved ones. The authors provide evidence for permanent sobriety by focusing on Christ’s ultimate healing rather than traditional struggle.

You can browse this volume on Amazon.

Volume 2: Our New Normal
Focuses on the often awkward and overwhelming early stages of sobriety. This book guides readers through identifying and resolving emotional and social dysfunctions, helping them navigate fears and resentments.

https://a.co/d/04079fyX

Volume 3: Leveling Up
A lifeline designed to assist individuals in achieving long-term, lasting victory over any addiction to reach their full potential. 

https://a.co/d/06VM8Qz1

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Tetelestai Recovery

Healing Together: The Power of Community in Crisis

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There are four hundred strangers who come to David in that cave. Sacred text lists their only credentials as ‘in distress, in debt, and discontented.’ Our 12-step friends would call them restless, irritable, and discontented.

All those who were in distress, or in debt, or discontented gathered around him and he became their leader. About four hundred men were with him. (1 Samuel 22:2)

This passage proves the value of support groups. When we find ourselves restless, irritable and discontented, we gather with others in similar struggles, to share experience, strength, and hope.

The men who gather with David in his cave have nothing to lose. They are broke, busted, and disgusted. But David calls them holy. God carefully hand-selected these individuals who would be known for all time as David’s Mighty Men of Valor.

As we gather in our cave of collective defense mechanisms and dysfunctional behaviors, we find a common bond. We identify our ‘isms and use the declaration of Christ, “It is finished!” to call an end to our fears. For way too long, our caves made us feel safe and protected from our trauma. But in those caves, our ‘isms are hidden. Coming out of the cave means our ‘isms will be exposed, and we will have to face our fears.

David wrote Psalm 142 while hiding, waiting, and healing in a cave. His final verse tells of being released from captivity. We join with him in this request to be released from our own caves. We need freedom from addictions, dysfunctional behaviors, character defects, personality disorders, pessimism, perfectionism, and all those other toxic ‘isms which keep us from our true purpose.  

Set me free from my prison so that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather around me because of your goodness to me. Psalm 142:7

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Tetelestai Recovery

Navigating Emotional Turmoil in Family Relationships

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We find that nothing spotlights our dysfunctions quite so vividly as when family shows up to help! Granted, it is a blessing to have family who care enough to show up, but we also know the risk. For those of us, whose tendency is to shut down emotionally when family dynamics are in play, our emotions become glitchy and start to malfunction. We say the wrong thing, blurt out secrets, wear the wrong clothes, belong to the wrong social groups, and vote for the wrong candidate.

It has been said that family is everything. Families can teach us about loyalty, behavior, and self-preservation. They can teach us work ethics and responsibility. Families also teach us how to be manipulative, sarcastic, and selfish. All families have their own layers of drama, chaos, and distrust.

Some families are quite ordinary. Some families are quite extraordinary. All families have dysfunctions, traditions, trauma, and mixed messages.

Family members know too much about each other and the history they all share. Family can push our buttons like no one else. Family can make us feel included or rejected; loved or despised; powerful or weak. Although family dynamics are messy, they are God’s plan for a place to start. Unfortunately, each generation has an ancestry made up of humans, so we all possess some elements of dysfunction within our family code…

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