Tag: Drug and Alcohol Recovery

Tetelestai Recovery

Marc’s Story

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I was born into a two-parent alcoholic home and struggled for decades with drug and alcohol dependence. I started drinking as a small child and was a daily drug user by age twelve. I was blessed with a willfully strong intellect and despite my addiction issues, went to college, started a family, and became a successful entrepreneur. By age twenty-six, my occasional, yet increasingly frequent business, relationship, and legal problems caused me to seek relief from my struggle with drugs and alcohol.

I had an intellectual concept of a spiritual energy (Higher Power) and over the next twenty-seven years, I cycled in and out of sobriety, with the assistance of 12-step recovery meetings and multiple treatment institutions. In that twenty-seven-year period I worked steps, had sponsors and sponsees, attended meetings, worked service jobs and attended counseling. Despite what some would say was a strong recovery program, I continued to relapse with multiple auto wrecks, work accidents, play injuries, DUI’s, loss of relationships, divorce, and spiritual discourse. Consequences continued to mount and got more severe. I agonized over what I was doing wrong and often asked myself, “Why can’t I seem to get it? Why can’t I stay clean and sober?”

Bouncing from program to program I became active in four different 12-step programs and had a daily ritual of meetings to attend. I continued to relapse again and again over resentments, old acquaintances, the “disease”, and the never-ending discussions and excitement about the glory of the ‘good ole days’. My angst would grow until I would try a different drug or go back to my good old friend alcohol.

Faith in God or my version of a Higher Power, became shaken, questioned, and eventually dismissed.

Tetelestai Recovery, Chapter 7, Marc’s Story https://a.co/d/31zY36e

Tetelestai Recovery

Feelings Are Not Our Truth

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As far back as we could remember, we felt different, damaged, and just plain wrong. We did not know exactly what was wrong with us. We only knew that we felt things more intensely than others and we processed our problems with great difficulty.

We obsessively examined ourselves, looking for clues to solve the mystery and to find a key which would unlock some invisible door into normalcy. We noticed people we admired and made feeble attempts to imitate their persona. We sought out damaged friends who would validate us in our dysfunction. We pursued money to prove our worth. We questioned and we blamed. We fought with ourselves and resented God. We learned how to act right, but we didn’t know how to feel right. Eventually it was our feelings which became our undoing.

The presence of unwanted feelings such as insecurity, inadequacy, fear, anger, and other social phobias, coupled with our inability to manage or control them, unleashed within us a desperation for relief at any cost. We soon learned of a temporary reprieve which occurred when our brain chemistry became altered. We didn’t care that the relief would be short lived or cause irreparable damage. The long-awaited relief of rightness, contrasted against the life-long agony of wrongness, offered such an enchanting embrace, we surrendered without a fight.

Tetelestai Recovery, Chapter 2

https://a.co/d/csevDec

Tetelestai Recovery

Tetelestai Recovery – Volume 2

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Tetelestai Recovery – Volume 2 Our New Normal

Based on their own personal experience, the authors openly share about their first stages of sobriety, when the clean and sober lifestyle felt awkward and overwhelming. Within the pages of this book, emotional and social dysfunctions are identified, analyzed, and resolved. Each chapter peels back a deeper layer of awareness, revealing a clear path to a New Normal where confidence and security are a way of life.

Tetelestai Recovery Volume 2: Our New Normal continues the journey of recovery, found in the words of Christ, “It is Finished.” Addiction is not a life sentence. There is hope and healing for all addicts and alcoholics, as well as for those who love them.

https://a.co/d/es1vEDa

Tetelestai Recovery

Post-Traumatic Strength and Stability

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And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

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This came as a shock to those of us who grew up in the psycho-babble era, where therapists were gods who slung letter-label disorders at us like lightning bolts. Most of us had been zapped by at least one label or another which altered our identity. Sadly, that movement brought such a self-defeated attitude; many of us doubted the power of the cross over our disorders.

Thankfully, after receiving the message of Christ’s finished work, we concluded that our dysfunctional labels need not remain our identity.

  • We claimed the powerful promise from Romans 8:37 concerning our sense of powerlessness:

In all these things we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us.

We subjected our past trauma to the truth found in Romans 8:28:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love Christ, who have been called according to His purpose.

Paul didn’t write ‘some things’ or ‘the good things’. No, he said that all things, even the least expected or most traumatic things, will work together for our good and for the Kingdom’s expansion project.

We realized that it wouldn’t benefit the Kingdom if its soldiers and ambassadors were traumatized, weak, and frail (either mentally or physically). No military unit would succeed with a platoon of disabled soldiers charging in to take a hill. Fighters in poor condition would be counter-productive to the cause. When charging into enemy territory, only the healthiest, strongest, and well-trained are called up to active duty.

Knowing that God has called us up to active duty, we also trust that He has given us health, strength, and solid training. We have discovered the spiritual law of the Kingdom where trauma turns to triumph and frailty turns to strength.

Chapter 4 / Post-Traumatic Strength and Stability

https://a.co/d/0G3atR1

Tetelestai Recovery

Fragments of the Past

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Our New Normal offered many pleasant surprises. Some of our upgrades were unfamiliar, yet welcome. We enjoyed becoming an honorable person. We were delighted to be viewed as trustworthy. We stopped demanding respect and began earning it. We appreciated the new opportunities God sent our way. We looked in amazement at the doors which stood open in front of us. We looked with gratitude at the doors which had closed behind us.

The glaringly obvious issues had been removed with Jesus’ words, “It is finished!” and once we began moving out of our active addiction, much of the chaos connected with our former lifestyle settled down. We looked to the future with hope and knew that God was working out the more subtle issues, one at a time, little by little.

Lots of negatives had been removed, leaving a huge gaping hole in our soul. We felt as if our emotional center resembled an excavation site; filled with bulldozers, backhoes, and caution tape. Once the surface-level layers were removed, the process became more meticulous and precise. An archeological dig often begins with heavy equipment, but the expert precision near the treasure is done with a toothpick and tiny brush. So too, our soul dig went through a transformation. It seemed as if it had begun with a total upheaval of our surface level behaviors and lots of changes to the landscape. But eventually, the progress slowed, and we got discouraged. We didn’t realize God needed to use a lighter touch as He sifted carefully through our broken fragments.

His work was so quiet and gentle, we sometimes wondered if He was even doing anything at all. We loved the big, dramatic, exciting changes which we passionately recalled to anyone who would listen. However, the small, hidden changes were tedious and exhausting. They were not nearly as noticeable. At times, we wondered if we might lose interest, or worse, perhaps God might.