Tetelestai Recovery

Overcoming Adversity: The Power of Yes and No Choices

We thought about our individual experiences with yes and no decisions, then shared them with the group.

One member who had been set free from an addiction to porn, shared his decision-making process when it comes to watching television. He knows which shows will trigger lustful thoughts, so he simply chooses not to watch them. He decides instead to watch sports, cooking shows, and science programs on PBS. He says yes to living free from shame which means he says no to shows that trigger him. Each time he makes that choice, he places himself in a position of power. He continues to pursue his destiny using the wisdom God has given. He is leveling-up into a mature, godly man who demonstrates great leadership skills.

Another member of the group shared about self-esteem issues. From childhood, he had been trying to cope with the confusion of trauma, unaware of what to call it. He struggled with feelings of unworthiness and was unable to feel a sense of value. That all changed when he made the choice to learn about trauma and its effects. He chose to develop a relationship with Jesus, his Healer. He made a choice to forgive and move away from the pain. Because he says yes to openness, and no to suffering in silence, he now operates in a position of influence and serves as an advocate for others. He has the wisdom of God and the heart of a servant.

Tetelestai Recovery

The Two Big Lies

Our minds were filled with fear, but the fears were not always clearly defined. So, we examined our fears more closely and realized they were rooted in two basic lies.

1. We Were Not Enough

    We feared that we weren’t smart or capable enough to maintain our place on this planet. We feared we would not be able to make good enough plans and follow through on them. We feared we would not be able to earn enough money to pay the bills. We feared we could not meet the expectations others had for us, or those we had for ourselves.

    We feared that our ‘not-enough-ness’ would be discovered and we would be humiliated. We feared social settings because we were not interesting enough. We feared being forgotten because we just weren’t very remarkable. We feared being abandoned because we just didn’t bring enough to the table.

    We feared that we were ill-equipped and woefully inadequate to handle the overwhelming responsibility of life on this planet.

    2. We were too much.

      We feared that we were too much trouble and not worth the effort. We feared that we were too boring, too impatient, too greedy, too lustful, too resentful, or too lazy.

      We feared that we were too insistent on getting our own way. We feared that our sense of entitlement and list of demands were turning us into tyrants.

      We feared being alone because sometimes we were too much, even for ourselves.

      Chapter 5 – The Fear Factor